Today was going to be a calm, peaceful day with SwampMan back at work. I’d tackle Mt. Laundry, vacuum, sweep, clean up some dishes, feed some livestock, then off to the beach I would go. It would be so peaceful. Just me, the raucous call of seagulls, and all the tourists in shorts with pale legs, black socks and sandals. It didn’t quite go as I planned.
I’d been feeling some right anterior knee pain since jumping from the back of the truck Friday. I was limping through the vacuuming, trying to decide if the pain was severe enough to stay home. Nah. If I had any difficulties, a mojito or two should take care of it. Then I got to the dining room.
Daughter had tried to disassemble a donated Play and Pack for my house/use that she had assembled. She couldn’t get it to fold back up. “Don’t worry about it!” I told her. “I’ll work on it when you go home.” She gave me a sceptical look because she KNOWS that I have this ADD problem in that I will work on it for about 45 seconds before moving on, and I rarely read directions. That was about a week ago. Or maybe it was two weeks ago? Regardless, I’d had other things on my mind, like fetchin’ and carryin’ for SwampMan. So there it still lay on the dining room floor, a big old obstacle to be avoided. It didn’t really bother us that much because SwampMan had been eating in his lazy chair.
I tried several times to fold that dang Play and Pack up, failing each time, as daughter had previously. Aw, crap. I was going to have to *sigh* read the directions.
I completely assembled it, then started the step by step disassembly. I got to the same step in the process where daughter had been unable to continue and, big surprise, I couldn’t continue either. One side just would not fold. I cursed at it helpfully to try to motivate it, but nothin’ doing. That sucker was not moving. Perhaps if I stepped over it and tried it from the other side. Unfortunately, it was upside down at the time, and my heel came down on the wheel locking mechanism which was pointed up instead of down from that angle.
I said a few more curse words, then tossed that sucker into the office. I was going to have quite a bruise on my heel from the feel of it. Then I went outside to take out the trash and hang some laundry on the line to see if I could get it to dry before the thunderstorms came in. I came inside to find that I must have dribbled some tomato sauce on the floor from the trash bag because there were red splotches on the kitchen floor and continuing across the carpet. DAMNIT! I was NEVER going to get to the beach at the rate I was going. I grabbed a rag and some carpet spot remover and crawled around the carpeting cleaning spots, then went for the vacuum. Coming back, I noticed more red splotches. How did that…..then I raised my foot and actually looked at my heel. Blood was dripping from a nasty-looking cut. Ewwwwwwwww. I’d been blocking out the pain of the supposed bruise but seeing it actually all bleedy made me acutely aware of the throbbing. Dang. But thanks to SwampMan’s knee surgery, we have some really big bandaids! I felt MUCH better when I couldn’t actually see it bleeding anymore.
I needed to go ahead and get the chickens in the pasture pens fed and watered before I left. It was supposed to turn stormy with thunderstorms and possible tornadic activity in the evening. Call me crazy, but I’d rather be inside than outside in that sort of weather. I was walking alongside one pen when a small rooster came running up squawking in terror behind me, lept over my foot, and bounced off the wire on the side of the pen. I was staring at it thinking “Whuuuuuut?” when WHAM! I found out whuuuut. The big rooster that had been chasing the smallish rooster flew at him with his spurs, but the little rooster, not being a big fat dumbass like me, was not there. My right ankle was. SonuvaBITCH! I didn’t even have the satisfaction of kicking his tail because he realized immediately that he had done screwed up and spurred the chicken reaper. He ran off in the opposite direction as fast as he could go.
I finally got my chores done, but decided against going to the beach. I didn’t think my right leg could take any more trauma today. I didn’t want it hit by lightning, stung by jellyfish, or tasted by a shark.
SwampMan came home from his first day back at work about an hour late. He walked in with a smile on his face. “You look like you had a good day today!” I exclaimed. “No pain?”
“Not at all! My students and former students came by to see if I was okay today. Several of them remarked how much better I am this time! How was your day? Did you make it to the beach?”
“Well, my day was about the same as usual. And no, I didn’t make it to the beach.” I told him about my day.
“It sounds like somebody needs to be taken out for dinner! Are you ready?”
“Yes. Yes, I am!”
And the best part? With my ankle and heel throbbing, I don’t even feel the knee pain.