After fixing and delivering SwampMan’s lunch sandwiches to the barn, I returned to the house and fixed and ate mine. I decided that since I was gonna be shoveling chickenshit out of chicken pens for the garden and compost pile, I probably ought to change into shorts as the temperature was getting warm. Ooops. Gorilla legs.
I had intended to switch over from shaving legs to waxing legs this weekend, so hadn’t shaved during the week. Shaving my legs irritates them in the drier autumn air, but it is still warm enough to wear shorts, hence the waxing. I couldn’t just go outside and shovel shit with hairy gorilla legs. What if the church people came visiting? What if the neighbors leaned over the fence to visit? I mean, I might as well be shoveling out the chickenhouse naked for the comment that it would cause. “Did you see her shoveling out that chickenhouse with them hairy gorilla legs and pretending like she ain’t seen us up at the gate? Have you EVER seen anything so tacky in your LIFE? Say what? Are you SURE she was nekkid? I just thought she hadn’t ironed her clothes. A person that will be seen in public with hairy gorilla legs is liable to do anything.”
That’s when I remembered that I had bought DepilSilk (as seen on TV!) from the drugstore a couple weeks ago. I had done the patch test on legs and then forgotten about it. Product review time!
I left it on legs and underarms as per the label warning: NO LONGER THAN 8 MINUTES! I set a timer on 8 minutes after applying, so it was probably on my legs a good 10 minutes. I scrubbed it off in the shower, then emerged to put on my glasses and peer at the results. Hunh. Guess there was a reason it was on the clearance rack. It didn’t actually remove any hair. I still had gorilla legs and underarms, so back to the shower with the razor. It may have worked if I had let it stay longer on my skin (like 15 minutes!) but then there would probably be ugly chemical burns to contend with. I still have some left, so what the heck. I may try it next weekend if I don’t wax.
*sigh* And it looked so easy on television.
So now I’m all nice and clean and smooth and ready to get all filthy shoveling out the powdery chicken feces.