Archive for August 5, 2008

Off For a Day of Shopping, and Keeping Momma Away From the Air Force

My mom called me Sunday so that we could plan a shopping trip (attack?) on an Georgia town today that is in peaceful ignorance of the storm which is about to descend upon them. 

“So, what else is up with you?” I asked after the mission had been outlined and the stores targeted.  We’re going to meet at 0930.  Cracker Barrel or Sonny’s BBQ better get to cookin’ because all that comparing prices minutely works up an appetite.

“I got a letter from the Air Force wanting me to enlist and join their nursing program.”

“Hunh.  Guess you better start getting in some running, then, although I recall the Air Force as being a little softer on P.T. than the Army.”

“If it weren’t for Bob (the invalid stepdad), I’d really like to join!”

“I could be wrong, but I think 67 might be just a little over the age limit for new recruits.  You can always call up the recruiters and talk it over with them, though!”

“That’s age discrimination!”

I had had a similar conversation with my daughter when she and her husband were having some marital difficulties. 

“Mom, I think I want to join the military, but I need someone to take care of the kids.”

Going over various responses in my head,  I finally settled on a neutral “That’s nice, dear.”

“Well, you really liked the Army, and I’d love to travel the world.”

“Well, remember when I joined the Army, the only part of the world I saw was Texas.”

“Texas would be WONDERFUL!  I’ve always wanted to dance with a cowboy.  I have a little problem, though, in that I would need somebody to watch the kids, so I figured you could leave daddy and travel with me!”

“Well, what if I want to dance with a cowboy?”

“Hunh.  Maybe I better get Grandma!”

“Oh, PLEASE.  Grandma would DEFINITELY be out dancing with cowboys.”

Update:  Maybe Grandma would NOT be out dancing with cowboys.  She informed me today that she would not marry another man even if his ass were lined with diamonds.

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