Archive for December 25, 2008

Who Needs Ornaments?

As y’all know, I was a little rushed this holiday season and did not get around to putting up the tree. When I say “put up the tree”, it means decorating everything that isn’t moving. Putting up the tree really means putting up the tree, decking it with at least 10 strings of lights, several hundred ornaments that have been lovingly collected through Christmases past, putting lights around the entire interior of the house, putting out all my collected Christmas Teddy bears and handcarved old world Santas and angels and…well, a lot of stuff. So, when I was running behind and SwampMan generously offered to help me out by putting up the tree, I was delighted that I could concentrate on cooking. I also thought that we were talking about the same thing when discussing putting up the tree.

My mom arrived early and after bringing in all the food she had prepared, she immediately took over the stove while I kept an eye on the yeast rolls in the oven while mashing the potatoes. Neither of us had time to leave the kitchen. The guests started arriving, and I directed them to drop off the presents under the tree in the formal living room. I heard the tree being discussed.

“Well, that’s certainly interesting” said the son-in-law. “It doesn’t look bad, not at all.” Nobody else expressed that opinion.

Uh oh. What did he do?

I went into the big living room to see what had transpired. He had put up the tree. It had one string of lights. That was it! No tinsel, no garlands, no hundreds of ornaments lovingly placed. No Teddy bears or angels. No Christmas pillows and throws.

“That way, it’s really easy to take down, too!” enthused my husband to the son and son-in-law, who seemed to think that was perfectly reasonable. The women seemed less impressed by his thinking.

What the heck. That is one more string of lights than the living room would have had because I wouldn’t have done it this year!

Oooh, and Santa SwampMan left a new tactical shotgun under the tree for me, and a case of shotgun shells. Woohoo!

He’s also insisting that I get a concealed carry permit so that I can carry my concealed weapon(s) legally.

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