Of course, this is the personal credo of most southerners, not just mine:
Archive for January, 2010
A Protest In Dance Against the High Speed Train Between Orlando and Tampa
I think they’re singing “we’re gonna stomp this sucker down. You people of means, sitting inside your taxpayer supported high speed train that we cannot afford, we are going to give you a giant headache, so there!”
I suppose, though, that this could just be the result if Nancy Pelosi and her airborne Congressional Kegger were to take the train instead of using the Air Force as a taxicab which would explain why everybody is waking up on the roof. Have you read that? Were you as pissed off as I was that Fancy Nancy is flying family members (as well as other Congresspeople) around (who can afford to pay for their own gawddamned tickets and lunch) and plying them with food and liquor at our expense? That’s right, Miz $25,000 a year secretary, $15,000 a year Walmart employee or $30,000 a year teacher, you are paying Nancy Pelosi’s $1,000 a week airplane liquor bill. Gawd only knows how much the bar tab is in Washington. She only earns $223,500 a year plus the millions she and her husband are worth, so you can’t expect HER to pick up the bar tab, can you?
What do Obama’s high speed rails and Nancy’s Congressional Keggers have in common? More taxpayer subsidies for the wealthy because the po’ folks aren’t able to afford to ride the train even with taxpayer subsidies from those that can’t afford it OR buy expensive liquor.
Personally, I think the government should provide free liquor to EVERY government employee while on the job, not just Congressional assholes. EVERY faculty room throughout the nation could benefit from a liquor cabinet with $1,000 worth of liquor replenished weekly. Think of the children! How much happier they would surely be if the teachers were giggling outside as they burn texts while swigging Jack Daniels and ignoring the kids. For science, we could all find out how well that flame proofing works on the curtains! Woohooo! Here’s my shirt with the school logo! Burn it! Here’s my union magazine with Obama’s picture on the cover again! Throw it in the fire!
Her pilots could probably use a drink or 10, too.
More Unemployment Blues
I saw one of our former neighbors that was my son’s age and asked him how he was doing. He was telling me that after he had to shut down his business, he went to work for a fabricating company, thought everything was going great until orders slowed way down, and now he’s unemployed. He figures that he’s doing better than most, because his house is paid for as is his old vehicle. He’ll shoot a few deer out of season, do some fishing, and put in a bigass garden, and at least he’ll eat. He knows people (construction workers) living in freakin’ tents poaching deer now.
So, folks, if you thought that WTSHTF you’ll be able to go into the woods and eat Bambi, forget it. Homeless construction workers will have long since made him into venison stew.
Three Jacksonville Teens Kill Man to Steal $3
From News4Jax.com:
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Three teenagers accused of robbing and killing a 49-year-old man on Monday night to get a little gas money. They walked away with $3 and the possibility of spending the rest of their lives in prison.
Grady Williamson was walking in the 1300 block of Oakhurst Avenue about 9:25 p.m. when he was robbed stabbed. He died at Shands-Jacksonville Medical Center early the next day.
Witnesses described the teens and a suspect vehicle to police, and that information was passed on to patrol officers. On Wednesday, an off-duty officer spotted the car on Myrtle Avenue and the three teenagers were taken in for questioning.
According to police, they admitted to robbing and killing Williamson.
Marvin Clark, 15, Thomas Partlow, 16, and Gibson Wright III, 17, were all booked into the Duval County jail and charged with murder and armed robbery.
We have a failed juvenile justice system that plays catch and release as kids commit escalating crimes. Watch your ass out there, folks. Imagine what they’d do for a $20.
Overweight People Live Longer
“Obesity is a global epidemic that is prevalent in developed and developing countries; affects people of both sexes and all ages; and has negative health consequences (ill health, disability, and mortality), economic costs, and social implications,” write Leon Flicker, PhD, from the University of Western Australia in Perth, and colleagues. “In industrialized countries, the prevalence of overweight and obesity in older people is a growing public health concern, particularly because sustained aging of their populations is expected to continue for many decades, and obesity and aging represent large components of healthcare spending.”
The study goal was to assess all-cause and cause-specific mortality associated with underweight (BMI, <18.5), normal weight (BMI, 18.5 – 24.9), overweight (BMI, 25.0 – 29.9), and obesity (BMI, ≥30.0) in an older population. In the Health in Men Study and the Australian Longitudinal Study of Women's Health, 4677 men and 4563 women aged 70 to 75 years were recruited in 1996 and followed up for up to 10 years. The main study outcomes were relative risk for all-cause mortality and specific mortality related to cardiovascular disease, cancer, and chronic respiratory disease.
Overweight participants had lowest mortality risk, with risk for death for overweight participants 13% less than for normal-weight participants (hazard ratio [HR], 0.87; 95% confidence interval [CI], 0.78 – 0.94). Obese and normal-weight participants had similar risk for death (HR, 0.98; 95% CI, 0.85 – 1.11).
Across all levels of BMI, being sedentary doubled the mortality risk for women (HR, 2.08; 95% CI, 1.79 – 2.41) but was associated with only a 28% greater risk for men (HR, 1.28; 95% CI, 1.14 – 1.44).
"These results lend further credence to claims that the BMI thresholds for overweight and obese are overly restrictive for older people," the study authors write. "Overweight older people are not at greater mortality risk than those who are normal weight. Being sedentary was associated with a greater risk of mortality in women than in men."
Limitations of this study include observational design, measurement of height and weight only once at study entry, use of BMI as a surrogate measure of body fat, reliance on self-reported height and weight, and lack of generalizability to older people who are frail and at risk for death.
"A greater risk was found for extreme obesity," the study authors conclude. "Mortality risk must be balanced by the potential loss of physical function associated with obesity…. Overweight older people are not at greater mortality risk, and there is little evidence that dieting in this age group confers any benefit; these findings are consistent with the hypothesis that weight loss is harmful."
Overweight people have a greater bone density/mass than underweight people. A big factor for mortality in older people, especially women, are hip fractures. Older people with life-threatening illnesses that are thin do not have the nutritional resources to carry them for a prolonged period of time. Sedentary older women’s higher death rate can probably be attributed to the fact that weight-bearing exercise builds bone mass.
So, if you are of an age where you don’t give a rat’s ass how you look in jeans, go ahead and eat that fried chicken. It could save your life one day.
All of these fat phobic people really ought to look at some old photographs and paintings if they think that being “overweight” is a recent phenomenon. What is ridiculous is these Hollywood “beauties” that are terribly bony and underweight with collagen lips and silicone breasts. And even those are photoshopped to make them appear even thinner!
SOTU by TOTUS
Waiting for the SOTU. SwampMan went to bed but he’s betting on 60 uses of “I”. Piker. I had a 15 “uhhh” minimum which SwampMan says is ridiculously low. Hmmmmm. Well, I did say “minimum”. I may not be able to view all of it because I’m tired because I have to get up and actually work tomorrow since I don’t have czars to do my job for me. I’m curious as to how many times Bush (or Republicans in general) are gonna get blamed for his hugeass deficit which he owns.
Michelle looks pissed, as usual.
POTUS stopping for the sycophant asskissing and whispered reassurances and assorted sweet nothings and ass grabbings. Is Pelosi going to orgasm on the podium? Biden says “yay”, wonder if that line was written.
Oh, shit, he’s doing that back and forth teleprompter thing that makes me nauseated.
Wuh oh. He’s talking about times that tested the courage of our convictions. My conviction is that Congress and Obama need tarring and feathering.
WTF? The worst of the storm has passed? Guess he doesn’t know about the next group of mortgages to hit the fan.
Oh, children are writing to Obama asking why they had to leave their homes and when mommy and daddy will get a job. Yeah, right.
Drinking moment! HOPE!
We have a stubborn resilience in the face of adversity. We’re busy building cars, teaching kids, coaching little leagues, starting business, etc. Because of our great spirit, decency, and strength, he has never been more hopeful (DRINK!) about America’s future than he is tonight. (What, more money is out there for the Chicago graft machine?)
We should get a new government that matches our decency and embodies our strength? Woohooo! Pitchforks for everybody!
We all hated the bank bailout (bankers are eeeevil! Burn them!) He isn’t going to do what is popular, just what is necessary.
Transparency! Accountability! (DRINK!)
Obama gets standing ovation by taxing banks. Biden is grinnin’ like a possum eating poopie.
Obama cut taxes for 95% of working families! Hunh. Guess I ain’t one of them 95%. Sounds like a lie of the baldfaced variety to me.
Oh, Nancy Pelosi has that orgasm thing going on, leaping to her feet applauding. It was *very* good for her.
Oh, goody. The Recovery Act AKA the stimulus bill has us all working. Our disaster has been averted thanks to the Recovery Act. There are fake stories all across America about how businesses are hiring again.
He feels the pain of unemployed people. Shit. New jobs bill being called for tonight, and jobs are the focus for 2010. I hate to tell you this, TOTUS, but government doesn’t create jobs, it just fucks up the economy. Ooooooh, he just admitted American business creates jobs. His speechwriter understands economics? Financing is difficult for small business owners so he’s putting $30 billion into community banks to make small business loans. Pelosi is doing that jumping up orgasm again. Oooh, tax incentives for business, and elimination of capital gains taxes for small business. He’s going to put America to work today on the infrastructure for tomorrow. (Are we all going to be working in Disneyworld?) Oh, great, we’re getting the high speed train (wreck) in Florida.
Clean energy? How about energy that doesn’t require government subsidies to survive?
Wuh oh, bend over, he’s going to revamp our economy (through green energy? WTF?)
We have to fix the problems that hamper our growth such as financial reform. Sounds like he’s been talking to Mr. Paul Volcker.
Oh, shit, back to energy again. Green. Energy. Doesn’t. Work. At. An. Affordable. Price. Nuclear does. The sonofabitch just said that they were going to pass a climate bill that will tax the shit out of everything that isn’t “green” so that we can’t afford it and will switch to inefficient solar panels instead. The poor will, of course, have to freeze. Asshole. Oh, yeah, and we’re going to double our exports next year (and pigs will fly out his ass, no doubt.)
The dumb sumbitch doesn’t seem to have a clue that one of the big reasons manufacturing is relocating is electricity costs.
He believes in global warming. Enough said.
We’re going to turn around failing schools. Yadda yadda yadda. World class educations will raise you outta poverty. Yadda yadda yadda. Going to revitalize community colleges. Uh, last time I checked, they were already doing quite well. Oh, yeah, $10,000 tax credit for four years of college and increase Pell grants. Oooooh, student loan debts will be forgiven in 10 years if you go into public service. We needs more community organizers.
Ahhhh, fuck, back to health insurance reform. Yeah, he doesn’t get it. He’s going to clear it up for all us dumbasses who don’t want it. Oh, gawd, back to stories he’s heard again. After centuries of trying, we are closer than ever to saving Americans from insurance companies. Thanking Michelle for working toward tackling childhood obesity. She still looks pissed. What’s up with that? Oh, we’re going to bring the deficit down by as much as a trillion dollars over the next two decades? Kiss my ass. Oh, he hasn’t explained it clearly enough to us. And Americans want to know what’s in it for me? Uh, no, that’s the policians. He’s not going to walk away from these Americans. Go ahead. Walk away. And don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya. He wants to keep on beating that dead horse.
Oh, we’re in a massive debt hole. He’s going to set the record straight. He’s blaming it on Bush. WHAT a loser. Oh, his efforts to prevent a depression added a trillion to the national debt. It has nothing to do with his massive payoffs to supporters. He’s going to freeze government spending for 3 years. How about firing all your czars? That would save MILLIONS. He’s going to veto Nancy if the budget isn’t in tune? Yeah, she’ll botox your ass. We’re going to stick it to oil. We’re going to stick it to old people.
Ooooh, Joe actually beat Nancy to her feet this time. Does his paycheck depend on how fast he leaps to his feet to applaud like an idiot?
And speaking of idiots, Nancy has the poopie eating grin, too.
Blame Bush again! The moron section of Congress is jumping up like martinets, which they are.
Barry is calling for common sense. Enough said.
He actually said that he is cleaning up government. Bwahahahahaha! DRINK!
Oh, please. He is worried about foreign governments spending in our election, when he took millions (or more!) from Arabic governments? Please.
Earmark reform? Now he’s out in fantasyland. We know he’s lying.
Bipartisan? Uh, yeah, whatever. Joe Biden is nodding wisely like he’s in agreement. He’s probably thinking “and you will be the first against the wall when the revolution comes”. Obama’s above all these eeeevil partisan attacks and division and distrust n’ shit. Since the Democrats have the biggest majority in decades, they should ram home all his stupid ideas. The Republican leadership better play along or they’ll find a dead horse in their bed. Maybe it will be Nancy. She’s biting her lips nervously. Or maybe she’s just chewing her cud.
Joe Biden has a puzzled look on his face after looking down. Maybe he got a note that said “look intelligent”.
Oh, Obama wants to protect the rights of all Afghans, men, women, and terrorists alike. Oh, he’s ending the Iraq war. Guess the terrorists didn’t get that message. All troops are coming home. Good. Maybe their votes will all get counted this time. Call me a dreamer.
Michelle is going to support military families. They didn’t show a close up of her this time. Maybe because she’s devouring a military family.
Joe Biden is apparently counting his hair.
The U.S. and Russia are doing a new nuclear treaty which, IIRC, makes us lose most of our nuclear weapons.
North Korea is getting a very stern finger shaking. So is Iran. They will face consequences. That is a promise!
I bet they’re shaking now.
Climate change again. Kiss my ass. The temperature has been going down in Florida for awhile.
We’re doing shit because it is right. Or something. We’re supposed to be on the side of human rights and dignity, which is why he’s been performing oral sex on dictators like Hugo and Ahmadinejad.
Biden checks to see if hair is still there.
He’s throwing fish out for the seals clapping in the audience. Gay rights. Equal pay. Civil rights. Immigration reform. Biden and Pelosi peer at each other as though surprised to find out who is sitting next to them.
Heh. He used the example of eeevil corporate greed of why citizens have lost faith in corporations, yet hasn’t used the example of the incredible corruption in government as a reason as to why citizens want their government either kicked out or dead, and they’re not particular about which one.
“We are here because countless citizens did what was hard to keep the dream alive.” Yep, we need to kick out these assholes in order to keep America alive!
Oh, gawd. More pointless apocryphal stories.
Blame Bush again!
Count me unimpressed. Yeah, you Americans don’t like my ideas, so you’re getting them REGARDLESS, you dumbass shitkickers was what it sounded like to me.
Where’s the Rest of My Money, Bitch?
While driving to work this morning, I heard a startling report: Every “created” or “saved” job cost $241,000.
As the recipient of a grant that pays my salary for this year that would include me in that number of “created” or “saved” jobs, I have to report that I’m not earning a 10th of that amount. So, how many fingers have been dipping into my job fund and removing it before I get it? Where’s the rest of my money, bitch?
Safety Inspections Really Suck
Geez. In a concrete block building, our classroom has one rug for circle time, a couple of cloth-covered bulletin boards for color so the room won’t be so damn depressing, and one colorful sheer curtain over the one small window. Those things had to be treated with a flame retardant spray. I, uh, think that if the building is in flames, the flame retardant spray isn’t going to do a helluva lot of good. Really. But knock yourselves out.
We had to have the hand sanitizers on shelves out of reach of the kids and, since no tall shelves were ever actually installed in our bathroom, the hand sanitizer had to go for the day. Ditto the hand soap for the friggin’ bathroom. I suppose the rationale for that is that kids might actually wash their hands by themselves and somehow drink all the soap if left unsupervised in the bathroom? All of our disinfectant wipes for cleaning up classroom snot, vomit, peepee and poop accidents, etc. also had to be taken home for the day. What, the kids are going to sneaky clean the classroom and become exposed to cleaning agents? Do they fear the children will eat the wipes? The kids’ artwork and writing papers had to be taken off the walls because paper stacked on shelves is less of a fire risk. Or something.
I would think that parents would be more concerned about E. coli bacteria (along with cold and flu viruses) being all over doorknobs and desk tops than that their children might deliberately drink soap, but I could be wrong.
Luckily, it is still safe to have toilet paper and paper towels. For now.
My New Diet/Exercise Program Hasn’t Actually Materialized Yet, So Nobody Die, Okay?
This was supposed to be my second day on my new Fear of Wearing Spandex Diet. Before I got off work, SwampMan called.
“You are going straight home from work, right?”
“Uh, maybe” (or maybe not, because while I have some hot pink rain boots, I might need some sunflower yellow rain boots). It has been very wet here lately.
“Well, you need to get home and get all your livestock feeding done so that I can take you out when I get home.”
“Out where?”
“It’s a surprise.”
So, we went out for fajitas and refried beans and sopapillas and nachos and….well, not exactly the dieter’s special. I didn’t drink a Margarita, so that counts, right?
The only size black dress that I have that fits me is still the spandex so, if you think you might be dying soon, please give me at least 3 4-month’s notice so I can get this diet/exercise thang in gear. Or go shopping.
My “Come to Jesus” Moment About Weight Loss
I have been complaining mildly about weight loss for some time. Mildly, because I like to cook and I like to eat out. When I was working construction (10 years ago!), I stayed pretty scrawny. Even up until a couple of years ago, my weight was in control because I put in about 6 miles per day and lifted weights until I developed plantar fasciitis and heel spurs from hell. Then I pretty much gave up and decided that my peasant genes were going to rule my body weight for the next 30 years or until I enter into the weight loss phase of old age.
So, when my friend passed away, I had a closet of dresses suitable for the occasion that I cannot wear to work. The morning of the funeral, I got out a sedate gray dress to wear with my black wool blazer. I could barely get it on, let alone zip it. No problem. I had a navy blue dress that would be almost as good. The buttons would have buttoned up, no doubt, were it not for the 2″ gap between buttons on one side and buttonholes on the other. WTF? Oh, right. Christmas. Cookies, candies, pies, home-baked rolls, breads, etc. DAMN!
So, with 2 hours until the funeral, I had to run to the closest store that was OPEN and try my luck with dresses. Even under normal circumstances, I hate shopping for dresses in stores. I’m 5’9″, for one thing. Waists for clothing made for “normal-sized” women tend to hit me right under the boobs, a strange look indeed, and the hem is waaaay too high for decency. DAMN!
As I feared, there was only one dress that didn’t look like it came from Hookers R Us. The hem was mid calf. The top wasn’t cut to my belly button. The back wasn’t bared to show off my nonexistant tattooes. The color was black. The only problem with it was that it was spandex. And sleeveless. AAAAAAAAACK! Off to the fat squisher department!
Racing home, I was able to get my fat squished sufficiently from chest to knees to not look absolutely hideous ( just maybe a little hideous), and a black wool blazer covers a lot of sins of the overeating variety. Off to the funeral! I arrived about 2 minutes before the ceremony began. I swore to never, NEVER again be in a situation where I have to wear fat-squishing garments in order to appear in public. Time for some serious weight loss!
I was going to start a diet and exercise program immediately tonight after work, but I spent the day at work on my feet, then spent another 2 and 1/2 hours checking and feeding hens and ducks with new hatchlings, feeding the roosters destined for slaughter, feeding hens, gathering eggs, turning the sheep out to graze and gorge on hay, brushing and feeding the horse, playing with and feeding the dogs, and feeding the cats. Then inside to cook dinner, some absolutely fabulous smoked whole hog pork sausage from Thrift Family Farms in Folkston, processed at Wainwright’s in Nahunta, Georgia. (If you ever have the opportunity to purchase some, snatch it up.) So much for my decision to only eat boiled eggs or maybe some cottage cheese for dinner, hunh? (I’d forgotten that the sausage was in the fridge, and we needed to eat it before it went bad and started mugging the leftovers.)
So, here it is, 9:30 p.m. I need to jump in the shower. I need to fold clothes. I need to vaccuum the floor. I need to wash and refrigerate the newest eggs, and boil some of the older eggs. I need to exercise. Some of those needs are not going to be met tonight, and exercise is probably one of them!
Perhaps a good weight loss strategy would be to just not wear a jacket (okay, several jackets!) during the coming cold snap. All that shivering burns calories, right?
A1A South 