I have been complaining mildly about weight loss for some time. Mildly, because I like to cook and I like to eat out. When I was working construction (10 years ago!), I stayed pretty scrawny. Even up until a couple of years ago, my weight was in control because I put in about 6 miles per day and lifted weights until I developed plantar fasciitis and heel spurs from hell. Then I pretty much gave up and decided that my peasant genes were going to rule my body weight for the next 30 years or until I enter into the weight loss phase of old age.
So, when my friend passed away, I had a closet of dresses suitable for the occasion that I cannot wear to work. The morning of the funeral, I got out a sedate gray dress to wear with my black wool blazer. I could barely get it on, let alone zip it. No problem. I had a navy blue dress that would be almost as good. The buttons would have buttoned up, no doubt, were it not for the 2″ gap between buttons on one side and buttonholes on the other. WTF? Oh, right. Christmas. Cookies, candies, pies, home-baked rolls, breads, etc. DAMN!
So, with 2 hours until the funeral, I had to run to the closest store that was OPEN and try my luck with dresses. Even under normal circumstances, I hate shopping for dresses in stores. I’m 5’9″, for one thing. Waists for clothing made for “normal-sized” women tend to hit me right under the boobs, a strange look indeed, and the hem is waaaay too high for decency. DAMN!
As I feared, there was only one dress that didn’t look like it came from Hookers R Us. The hem was mid calf. The top wasn’t cut to my belly button. The back wasn’t bared to show off my nonexistant tattooes. The color was black. The only problem with it was that it was spandex. And sleeveless. AAAAAAAAACK! Off to the fat squisher department!
Racing home, I was able to get my fat squished sufficiently from chest to knees to not look absolutely hideous ( just maybe a little hideous), and a black wool blazer covers a lot of sins of the overeating variety. Off to the funeral! I arrived about 2 minutes before the ceremony began. I swore to never, NEVER again be in a situation where I have to wear fat-squishing garments in order to appear in public. Time for some serious weight loss!
I was going to start a diet and exercise program immediately tonight after work, but I spent the day at work on my feet, then spent another 2 and 1/2 hours checking and feeding hens and ducks with new hatchlings, feeding the roosters destined for slaughter, feeding hens, gathering eggs, turning the sheep out to graze and gorge on hay, brushing and feeding the horse, playing with and feeding the dogs, and feeding the cats. Then inside to cook dinner, some absolutely fabulous smoked whole hog pork sausage from Thrift Family Farms in Folkston, processed at Wainwright’s in Nahunta, Georgia. (If you ever have the opportunity to purchase some, snatch it up.) So much for my decision to only eat boiled eggs or maybe some cottage cheese for dinner, hunh? (I’d forgotten that the sausage was in the fridge, and we needed to eat it before it went bad and started mugging the leftovers.)
So, here it is, 9:30 p.m. I need to jump in the shower. I need to fold clothes. I need to vaccuum the floor. I need to wash and refrigerate the newest eggs, and boil some of the older eggs. I need to exercise. Some of those needs are not going to be met tonight, and exercise is probably one of them!
Perhaps a good weight loss strategy would be to just not wear a jacket (okay, several jackets!) during the coming cold snap. All that shivering burns calories, right?