Archive for May 17, 2010

SwampMan’s Surgery Is Over

SwampMan’s basal joint surgery was today. We arrived at 10:30 a.m. and were able to leave after recovery @ 5 p.m. Since SwampMan didn’t get to eat or drink after midnight, I didn’t get to eat or drink after midnight either (grin). As soon as he disappeared into surgery at @ 12:30, I lit out o’ there like my tail was on fire to grab some lunch. If y’all ever have a reason to be in Jacksonville Orthopaedic Institute about lunchtime, I highly recommend the Cuban sandwich at Bones Cafeteria. I was probably making orgasmic noises as I munched that sucker over in the corner. The sweet tea was good, too.

SwampMan is, by nature, a tactiturn man who does not talk to (a) strangers, (b) women, and especially (c) strange women. People who meet us think that I’m the talkative one in the family because I have to do the talking for both of us, when in reality at home I am the quieter of the two. When I was brought into the recovery room, SwampMan told me that he had been babbling. “Babbling?” I queried. “Yeah, I can’t stop talking!” That was unusual. Usually I have to threaten him, with little success, to make him talk to people . What could he have been talking about? The weather?

His nurse stopped by to check on him. He asked if he’d been babbling. “Maybe”, she replied. On subsequent visits, she congratulated us on having paid the house off last year, that we drove old vehicles that were paid for, and that we had no debt to speak of. She knew that we had an 8-year-old granddaughter, a grandson turning 6 next week, and one that had turned 3 last week. She knew that our daughter had married a DamnYankee which earned a glare at SwampMan from me, and an apology from SwampMan, because that nice woman had a DamnYankee accent if I ever heard one. SwampMan had given her a colorful account of various relatives. She knew where I worked. She knew where he worked. She knew that he had named our daughter after his St. Bernard and that now she works with animals. If he told her how much weight I’d gained over the past year, she had mercy on him and didn’t reveal that knowledge. She asked him if he had to urinate. “No, and I don’t have to pee, either!” His nurse laughed. He looked startled, like he didn’t know that he had said it out loud.

His doctor told me that he was going to have a lot of pain tomorrow because his bone that was carved out was “HUGE”. Well. He does look like he has a lot of neanderthal in him. He’s in a lot of pain now and will have to sleep in his La-Z-Boy with his arm elevated. I will be sleepin’ in my La-Z-Boy (elegant living ain’t for us!) beside his so that if he needs anything in the night, I can get it for him. Then off to work in the morning for me, but not for him. He still thinks he’ll go Wednesday, but has arranged for a week off if he absolutely needs it. He’s SUPPOSED to be off for two weeks. He doesn’t even go in to get his dressings changed/cast put on for 10 days.

The babbling phase has ended, and SwampMan is alternately snoozing in his chair and watching the Hysterical Channel. I’m a little concerned because he’s not very adept at manipulating objects with his left hand, plus he has the basal joint arthritis in that hand as well. He needs help getting out of the chair and getting into the chair but perhaps that will be better by tomorrow. I hope. He can’t open his pain medication. When he takes it, he doesn’t remember that he has taken it, so I don’t want to leave it open, either.

I better get to sleep now because I think it’s gonna be a long night!

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