At the Surgeon’s Office

In the waiting room today was a woman with a similar surgery to SwampMan’s but with a different surgeon. Another woman was speaking with her that had an arm ailment. The woman was marvelling at how wonderful the woman was doing and looked, given her age (70).

When they were called back, SwampMan mentioned to me that he wondered who her surgeon was, because her surgery sounded, in the conversation, a bit different than SwampMan’s. I told SwampMan I was waaaaaay more interested in who her plastic surgeon was.

“What? How do you know she’s had any kind of plastic surgery? There were no huge scars or anything.”

*sigh* “Nose job, face lift, neck lift, eyes, boob job, and liposuction. Great work!”

“But….well, I admit she looked nice, but how do you know it was surgery?”

“How many 70-year-old women do you know with large, full, perky, gravity-defying boobs?”

“Oh. Nose?”

“Small and absolutely perfect. Noses have a tendency to droop a bit as you age.”

“Face? Neck? Eyes?”

“She had the smooth, firm jawline of a teenager. Her eyes were well opened without any drooping brows or lids. Her face was jowl free. Despite evidence of sun damage on her skin, her face (and neck) was wrinkle free.”


“Teeny little waist and somewhat bumpy hips and full upper arms. When fat cells are sucked out, fat cells left in other locations enlarge and multiply to take up the excess calories. When was the last time you saw a 70-year-old woman with a teeny little waist? Think of your thinnest aunts…..”

“I never even thought about it.”

Nope. He just noticed that she looked good. I probably wouldn’t have thought about it if she hadn’t announced her age. Like I said, I’d like to know who her surgeon was!

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