Archive for August 4, 2010

MeeMaw, I Need Tummy Polish on My Tongue!

Dylan burned his tongue on some Chinese food last night (or so I inferred). He informed me that his tongue was burning since dinner last night, and he needed some tummy polish on it to make it all better. Tummy polish? Meemaw has tummy polish? Meemaw can barely find the furniture polish and does not make it a policy to polish tummies. Meemaw’s tummy isn’t shiny. Just so you know.

“Meemaw, the tummy polish!” he repeated impatiently, because Meemaw was clearly having problems understanding spoken English.

The blinds on the window in Meemaw’s brain finally opened and let the sun in. When Dylan was smaller, he had a horrible time sleeping because he stayed so congested. Meemaw would coat his little chest with Vicks VapoRub which eased his congestion and helped him to sleep better. It worked so well that Mommy started using VapoRub on him at night, too. Apparently it has reached magical proportions in his mind and Vicks VapoRub will cure ANY ill, internal or external, real or imagined. I’m sure that when he grows up, he will tell his children that they are LUCKY he is taking care of them and not his Meemaw, because the only medication I ever owned was VapoRub, and I even put it on burns and broken limbs!

I picked up the VapoRub and showed him. “THIS tummy rub?”

“YES!”

I explained to him that VapoRub is for the outside of his body, not the inside, and it tastes really, really nasty. “Like somebody poop in my mouth?” he inquired. Meemaw doesn’t really want to know how he knows what poop tastes like. “Uh, yeah, worse than poop!”

Poor Papa is trying to sleep, and exuberant noisy little boy is completely incompatible with that. I have just run both of them outside for the third time in five minutes. Dylan is not understanding at all about being quiet so papa can sleep, because who in the world would want to sleep when it is day? I put them outside so they can be noisy, but they* are outside right under the window that papa and his La-Z-boy are next to fighting and screaming loudly. *sigh* No software reviewing for me today!

Today seems like a good time to go to the beach. I had planned on software reviewing, cleaning house, washing dishes, etc., but can’t do THAT with papa sleeping and two little boys that are picking at each other!

*Dylan being mean to older brother. Meemaw settled it with spanking Dylan’s bottom. Uh oh. More screaming outside!

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