Archive for August 15, 2010

Worst. Vacation. Ever.

“This has been the Worst. Vacation. Ever!” Swampman announced to me today on the last day of his summer vacation. “I have been completely miserable the entire summer!” Yep. No sooner than he had had one surgery done to alleviate the arthritis in his right hand and had gotten the cast off his arm and hand, he had had the left hand and arm done. Not to mention when he accidentally exploded himself, burning off his beard, mustache, and eyebrows and inflicting second-degree burns before his first surgery!

In between surgeries, he had tried to keep our old vehicles running using one hand for mechanical work, but mine still doesn’t have the A/C working. A trip to the local grocery store leaves me soaked with sweat, and I drive it to work (nonlocally) starting Friday. Most of the summer I had no transportation due to an elusive electrical problem, so the driving while in a sauna experience in the van makes me happy. I just need to bring enough towels to wipe off the sweat and towel dry my hair before I go inside anywhere!

I must have rolled my eyes just short of getting them stuck in the back of my skull or perhaps SwampMan, after 30+ years of marriage, could sense what I was NOT saying but was thinking very, very loudly. “Okay, maybe it was bad for you, too.”

Hmmmmm. The tiptoeing around the house and being at his beck and call while simultaneously keeping two very active small boys happy AND quiet was maybe not my idea of a dream vacation either, ya think? I will just make the observation that SwampMan is the biggest grumpy pain in the butt I have ever encountered in my entire life when he is not feeling well and leave it at that!

I’d never had an actual vacation until I worked for the school system. SwampMan was sure that if I worked with the school system, we could take actual vacations together, something that we haven’t ever really done. Sure, we snatched a weekend here and there, and tried to take the kids camping every couple of years, but we’ve never really had time off. When you are an independent contractor or sole proprietor, though, there’s not a lot of time that can be taken off.

I just completed my third year with the school system. We can’t actually afford to leave town now! Before I worked for the school system, we could take a 3-day weekend and fly somewhere. Now we can’t even afford the gas and hotel room!

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Sometimes When You Get Peace and Quiet, You Don’t Like It At All

Now that the boys are back home with Mommy and Daddy with Daddy being back home from National Guard duty, the house is so very quiet. I remarked on the quiet to SwampMan. He said “YEAH!” and resumed reading his book. *sigh* I probably won’t see them again until Christmas break. Sammy (Puppy) and Odie feel it, too, particularly Sammy. He went and laid down against the fence after the boys left and stayed there, whining, until his food was delivered. I understand.

I tried to talk with SwampMan to break the awful silence. “Uh, I’m reading here!”

I even miss the little “chickenwawa” who hid shaking under the sofa for a couple days and then turned into the happiest little energizer bunnydog ever, albeit one with peepee control issues that got her ejected from the house to the porch. Then, of course, the chewing up the blanket cord issue got her ejected again.

After she gets over her kennel cough, she’ll be returned to Animal Control. It doesn’t really seem fair to take her back to a place that is so terrifying, but Daddy said absolutely no dog for the boys because Mommy has enough to deal with in going through a pregnancy, working full time, and caring for two boys and the infant that will arrive in February. I don’t really have the time to take on another animal to be fed before going to work in the morning, either! She’s fast, too, so fast that she could easily zip through the gate past SwampMan into the driveway (who is not the most noticing of men in the morning) and get crunched by his truck as he backs up to leave. Just the thought makes me ill. Hopefully there will be somebody out there who is looking for a happy small dog that LOVES children but, sadly, she’ll probably be overlooked again by people looking to adopt when she goes back to hiding and trembling in fear in the back of a scary, noisy kennel.

I walk forlornly through the house, sniffling at each little Lego block that I find on the floor. There are a LOT of sniffles. Legos: NOT a good idea for small children. Next time, buy Duplos. SwampMan looks up and demands “What is WRONG with you?”


SwampMan just grins, shakes his head, and goes back to his book.

“They’re ALL going to be here for a whole year starting next summer when SIL gets deployed.”

At the reminder, I cheer up! I have a year to figure out another business to start where I can also stay home full-time with the grandchildren! Woohoooo!

“Oh, NO!” I utter out loud.


“We only have a year to start a business that is financially successful enough to replace my salary PLUS allow me to take care of the grandkids!” I inform him. “Have you got any ideas?”

“NO! Not tonight! Goodnight! Don’t stay up too late worrying about it!”

Hmmmmmmm. I gotta think about this one. Suggestions are welcome.

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Are You Old, MeeMaw?

I took the boys to Fort Clinch State Park today so that they could work off some energy. Ever the optimist, I thought that the 70% chance of rain today didn’t apply to us. Well, that didn’t work out so well for us! We spent a great deal of our time taking shelter from the lightning in the bathrooms.

In between cloudbursts, we walked on the fishing pier. I cautioned the boys not to lean between the boards for a better look at the ocean. “If you fall into the water, MeeMaw won’t be able to save you and a shark might eat you!”

They stared suspiciously into the water. No sharks in sight.

“Why can’t you save us, MeeMaw?” inquired Dylan.

“Because maybe she’s too old.” Jacob informed Dylan.

“Is that right, MeeMaw? Are you OLD, Meemaw?”

Hunh. Now how to answer that one! The reason MeeMaw can’t rescue anybody is that MeeMaw had a near drowning experience when very young and subsequently never learned to swim. Just being ankle deep in water elicited a severe panic response. “Jaws”, the movie, was NOT helpful in this regard. MeeMaw made sure the children learned to swim like little fishies and even had a swimming pool for that very reason. Just being out over the water safely on a pier is almost enough to cause a panic attack in MeeMaw, except that I’m sternly suppressing it. That’s a long-winded explanation for 3-year-old and 6-year-old boys, though.

“Yep, that’s right. MeeMaw is OLD. Mommy and Daddy can swim and rescue you but MeeMaw can’t. ”

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Today Is The Last Day At MeeMaw’s House

Summer is rapidly drawing to a close. Today is the last day two little boys will be spending the summer at MeeMaw’s house. MeeMaw has mixed emotions about this. Mostly MeeMaw would be feeling sad, but the youngest just put the cord to MeeMaw’s electric blanket in the foster chickenwawa’s mouth and encouraged the dog to chew it in half, then gleefully told on the dog. Dog got tossed outside on porch. MeeMaw was pissed. Then the oldest said that the youngest put the cord in dog’s mouth, and it was the little one’s fault. *sigh* Little one sent off to temporary exile in the living room so that MeeMaw could control the urge to spank HIM and toss him on the porch. That was about the third incident while I was attempting to cook oatmeal. The expensive electric blanket was out because the youngest wet the bed last night and was sobbing from the cold, and MeeMaw was all out of clean, dry blankets except for MeeMaw’s electric blanket.

“MeeMaw! Dylan is pulling my hair and farting on my shoulders!”

MeeMaw needs a nap before 9 a.m.

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