Emotional Time Today

I’m not usually an overly emo type. I rarely cry. I’m a pretty happy sort. So today, when I started feeling very anxious, it was strange. I’d felt very uneasy all weekend. I thought maybe I was worried about my job, which really is a thing to be anxious about. I looked online for new jobs, found possibilities but, oddly enough, that didn’t make me feel any better. I piddled around, didn’t get my bathroom painted like I’d planned, felt bad about that, and finally went to the grocery store. When I got back, I felt like I was having to struggle to breathe.

Now I had such a sense of impending doom that I started to worry that something was wrong in the family. I called son to make sure he was okay, but no answer (not unusual). Daughter would have called if there was a problem. I called Mom to make sure they were okay, told her about the anxiety, breathing problems, and asked if everybody in the family were okay. “No!” she informed me. “I just got off the phone with your cousin and they’ve put Aunt Dot in the hospital for pneumonia, and it isn’t looking good. She’s very, very upset. They’ve called in the whole family.”

Just like that, the anxiety disappeared. I’m still awake because I was so upset earlier that sleep wouldn’t come. I’m expecting a phone call, too, but they probably won’t call me until I get home from work tomorrow.

10 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    kcduffy said,

    Oh, I’m so sorry, Swampie. Sometimes that Gift is a real burden.

  2. 2

    kae said,

    I hope all is well, Swampie.
    Members of my family have that Gift as kc calls it, although sometimes it’s hard to make sense of it when it happens, trying to figure out the “who”.
    Good luck to Aunty.

  3. 3

    SwampWoman said,

    Well, I dunno that I’d call it a “gift”. More like a pain in the ass. Could be worse. I don’t see people that have died in line at the grocery store or hardware store like other members of the family have been known to do. Probably because I have absolutely no desire to see dead people in the grocery store, hardware store, or my house and if I did, I would be really pissed off. I do not want LIVE people dropping in uninvited.

    It would be nice if I could get a nice feeling about something that would make me wealthy beyond dreams of avarice (and believe me, I dream LARGE) but nooooooo. I just occasionally get feelings like “better slow down” and, when I ignore it like I usually do, I get large speeding tickets. I get feelings in the pit of my stomach about jobs I’ve interviewed for, but I never know if it’s an actual honest-to-goodness warning that the management are psychos or just the Mexican food for lunch. When a company I worked for at a job I loved closed down our district office unexpectedly 9 years ago, I had no clue it was coming. Go figure. Maybe because it wasn’t personal or eeeevil, just a sudden business decision.

    I have consistently gotten a bad feeling about the economy which is only worsening. Should I buy a new car? *BAD FEELING*. Should we start another business and borrow money? *BAD FEELING.* Should I get rid of all the livestock and take a better-paying city job? *BAD, BAD FEELING.* Is it a real warning or just me wondering how this gigantic debt iceberg can be avoided by the ocean liner we’re on? I dunno for sure, but I’m acting on it as a warning.

    • 4

      kcduffy said,

      I have a bit of The Sight…but like you, Swampie, I don’t depend on it. God didn’t write all my answers on tablets, damn the luck. Instinct and memory are often confused…and confusing. BTW. I call it the Gift because that’s how someone else referred to it long ago.

      • 5

        swampie said,

        And when your gut is telling you to run away, run away, but your mind can’t come up with a valid reason why, and lots of reasons why not, what do you go with?

  4. 6

    kcduffy said,

    I wish I had words of wisdom that could calm our fears about the economy…but you know who’s running things, so that would be a waste of breath, at best. What I DO know is that going into debt right now feels WRONG to me, too. We’d love for me to have a newer prettier truck, but dammit, my ol BroncoII – the Dave Ramsey Truck – runs just fine and there’s no need for me to go in debt because of vanity. I am NOT THAT VAIN. Really.

    Will it get worse before it gets better? I’d bet on it, if I was a bettin’ man.

    Careful. Caution. Wary. Frugal. Cash Only. THESE are the words I’m trying to live by now.

    • 7

      swampie said,

      Yeah, I know what you mean. Whenever I even THINK about getting into debt for anything, it’s like a diving alarm klaxon going WOOT! WOOT! WOOT! in my head.

      • 8

        no2liberals said,

        I’m psychic and I can see 2 Nov from my front and back porch.

      • 9

        swampie said,

        Heh. Psychic or psycho?

        I sure do hope you’re right about Nov 2 AND that a change can reverse the ongoing crash. I would love for small (and large) business to come roaring back!

      • 10

        no2liberals said,

        I’m psychic, I knew you were going to say that.

        The jackasses are gonna get a wh00pin’ in Nov, but there won’t be a quick turn around. There is too much uncertainty with this current regime for businesses to risk expanding or hiring new employees. The only thing government can do to help the economy is create an environment that encourages risk taking, and the best way is for government to clear the path and get out of the way.
        That is not the approach the statist in power embrace, but if we can get business friendly legislators elected, I believe confidence will rise dramatically. Notice how CEO’s are speaking out more often, they know of my psychic powers, and are convinced that 2 Nov will be the beginning of policies that reward the free markets, not punish them.

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