Food Police

I’m watching an early morning news program (DAMN that time change!) and it seems that despite the calorie information on the menu for everything, New Yorkers are STILL making “bad” calorie choices. They are actually increasing their intake of things like donuts, apparently the anti-Christ of foods. How DARE they?

The earnest health protector on television thought that the answer was more education. People need to be “educated”, you see, to make better food choices and to exercise for their own good. Some people have high blood pressure so everybody needs to reduce their sodium intake regardless of the research that shows that restricting sodium can contribute to heart attacks. Of course, these food neopuritans don’t really mean “educated”, they mean forced because, given a choice between broccoli with no cheese and no salt and a big ol’ order of fries (with salt!), well, you just know what that damn aggravating public has been choosing. You may even be making those same “bad” choices yourselves and ought to be ashamed.

The food neopuritan was outraged that the education wasn’t “working”. More and more people are getting obese and getting high blood pressure! Something must be done! They must be educated more rigorously! And, of course, their “incorrect” nutritional choices must be taken away so that somebody like me couldn’t accidentally order a Whataburger with fries and a large sweet tea instead of broiled fish with no salt, a dressing-free salad, and water.

I think that the American public, which are people like me, are well educated about food choices. We know that food crusaders come along and tell us that various things are bad for us (animal fats BAD! Trans fats GOOD! Protein BAD. Carbs GOOD!) and then real research refutes their findings a few years later. Remember when coffee and tea were bad for us and now they are wonder foods? Yeah, me too. Remember when cooking and eating eggs was supposedly the nutritional equivalent of stabbing yourself (or your loved ones) in the heart with a sharp knife, and the “good” choice was a breakfast cereal? Yeah, me too! There’s a very long list of foods that were demonized and later were found to be good for us. Unfortunately, these health proselytizers really don’t have our best interests at heart, so to speak.

Of course, there’s also the “F U!” attitude of the American public to people trying to force us to do something supposedly for our own good. When some officious person tries to lecture me about my food choices (“how can you eat animal flesh! It’s MURDER!), my second response would be to head for the nearest purveyor of murdered animal flesh and order a steak medium rare or some Popeye’s fried chicken with a side of red beans and rice.

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1 Response so far »

  1. 1

    no2liberals said,

    I’ve got my brisket corning right now, so I can make some corned beef and cabbage with cornbread for dinner.
    Food police?
    You can have my flavor when you pry it from my cold dead tongue.


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