Archive for March 21, 2011

Not Exactly What I Had in Mind…

SwampMan asked me last night “What are your plans for in the morning?” Well, my plans for in the morning, even though we were on vacation, was the same as pretty much every morning. Get up. Feed livestock. Work. “Same ol’ same ol. Whachu got in mind?”

SwampMan informed me that we would be rising early, heading to the Lowe’s near the airport, and hitting Cracker Barrel for breakfast. Yum! It sounded like an excellent plan to me.

So I lept out of bed bright and early, checked my livestock, fed my chickens, and then waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. Dang. I coulda swore SwampMan was alive when I got up. Maybe I should go check on him……Then the screen door opened, and a very grumpy SwampMan emerged.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“Not in my job description. You ready or what?”

He grumped out to the truck. I think somebody needs to go back to sleep. I ran back to the house and put on clean, non-chicken-scented clothing, then ran back out and jumped in the truck. I could smell the Cracker Barrel breakfast in my imagination. On the way, he announced that there was going to be a slight change in plans on account of he’d slept too long. Well, I like Cracker Barrel for lunch, too. “So what is the change in plans?”

“We’re going to Home Depot instead of Lowe’s, and we’ll get a chili dog from the hot dog cart.” My visions of a yummy leisurely breakfast went *poof*. Oh dear Lord. I think I heard my stomach shriek in dismay. “That is, if that’s okay with YOU” with an unspoken “and it had better be” glare. Talk about getting somebody out under false pretences! Did I mention that I put on a clean white shirt AND clean jeans? If I’d have known that the destination was HD and a hot dog cart, I’d have just stayed my ass home and cooked my own yummy breakfast. With french toast. And sausage. Or eggs and hash browns and bacon. Or maybe all of the above.

So, we went to Home Depot which had absolutely NOTHING that I needed (I needed some stuff from Lowe’s that HD doesn’t carry). SwampMan generously offered to buy me not one but two chili dogs, but I declined on the grounds that this dietary misstep was going to come back and haunt me and one chili dog should be sufficient to suffer from. With my first bite, chili stuff and red sauce went tumbling down my previously pretty clean white shirt that will likely be permanently stained. Oh, well. Shoulda known better by this time than to even OWN a white shirt, anyway.

So, now I’m back, ready to work outside. The oak trees are blooming with a vengeance, and my eyes are watering and nose is running, and the sneezes are coming nonstop. It is a good thing that I’m totally broke around taxtime or else those trees would all be cut down and stacked up for lumber if I had any spare funds AT ALL. I took a Benadryl to relieve some of the symptoms so I could work outside, but now I’m getting seriously drowsy and my ol’ comfy chair is sure looking good. Maybe I’ll just rest my eyes for just a little bit….then I’ll get up and plant in the garden and rake the leaves and do some painting…yeah…..


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