Somebody Needs to Make a Pill For That

I got off the phone with a friend that was just beside herself that her young daughter was putting up with a verbally and financially abusive second husband, a young man with a rap sheet longer than most criminals with a 20-year crime record, after having been abused in her first marriage which ended when THAT husband was put into prison. She was very worried about the safety of the children and hoped that his (second husband’s) latest probation violation would put him in prison for 20 years. *sigh* Her daughter is a lovely young woman. She takes good care of her children. She works hard. Why in the world would she accept being treated so badly?

Then my friend told me about the latest between herself and her boyfriend. He treats her badly, just as badly as her previous husband had treated her. I’d been begging her to leave that husband for years, but then she jumped into a relationship that was just as bad as the one that she left. My friend works hard. She took good care of her children. Why in the world would she accept being treated so badly?

I know that my friend’s mother before her had had a series of husbands who treated her badly. *sigh* Could it be that if somebody isn’t abusive, they don’t feel like they are loved? I think that whenever they get into a situation where they are subjected to abuse, it feels familiar, like home. So, mothlike, they circle around that flame and singe themselves over and over, never leaving the circle of flame to find out that there are other, safer, but perhaps less exciting relationships out there in the gloom away from the flame.

My friend said that she had just realized that she takes care of herself and doesn’t need a man, so she was going to stay away from ’em. THANK YOU! I hope she means it this time. Those grandbabies are going to need all her help to break the cycle.

It isn’t just women, though, that are making bad relationship choices. A man I know who is a GREAT person has been divorced four times, and he’s fifteen years younger than me! He’s only attracted to batshit crazy, though. Normal women are invisible to him. A bipolar woman off her meds will suck him in like a goose through a jet engine. You’d think that after a couple of times of having his life and finances nearly destroyed, he’d swear off, but nope. He’s still out there chasing the crazy ones.

Somebody ought to make a pill for that.


6 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    kcduffy said,

    They do – it’s cyanide.

  2. 5

    Croc Hunter said,

    They do: it’s called a pine wood pill. Taken once a day it keeps things in normal sync.

  3. 6

    no2liberals said,

    The attraction to weaponized bat shit crazy is difficult to explain, and I am NOT fifteen years younger than you.
    The cycle of abusive spouses is also difficult to explain.
    I think in both instances there is the idealistic notion that “my love can tame him/her.”
    That also helps explain why I have been happily divorced for 38 years.

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