Mommy Doesn’t Need Me Anymore

Daughter answered a knock on the door. Some of the neighbors were standing there. They informed her that 3-year-old Dylan was in the front yard driveway sitting next to the car crying his eyes out. When they inquired as to what was the problem (did he fall down? Did he hurt himself?), he wailed that “Mommy has a new baby now and doesn’t need me anymore”!

What they DIDN’T know, as they were standing there staring at her like she was the most horrible woman in the neighborhood, was that 3-year-old Dylan had jumped on Mommy (and baby) while baby was sleeping, and Mommy had told him that he needed to be less rowdy. He stomped out of the house yelling “FINE! I don’t need a Mommy anyway.”

Getting displaced by a new sibling is a tough adjustment as children find out that the universe actually does NOT revolve around them. Yikes. It must be a lot easier being an only child that never gets kicked outta the nest to make room for the new egg.

I find myself musing about birth order and personality. Poor lil’ Dylan already has the weight of that middle kid chip on his shoulders. His older brother is an overachiever like a lot of first kids. Poor little Dylan is going to have a heck of a time meeting his academic, behavioral, and sports achievements and is frustrated because older brother is better at EVERYTHING. He takes out that frustration by being the loudest and roughest. Little Zoe, being the youngest AND a girl, is gonna be cuddled and coddled by Mommy and Daddy and tortured by her brothers. There need to be some downfalls to being the youngest, after all.

I read an article that seems to indicate that first children tend to marry first children. Youngest children tend to marry youngest children. I never really thought about it much beyond the observations that oldest kids tended to be more responsible, probably because they had no choice in the matter (grin). Daughter is a (very responsible, because she had to be!) youngest child married to a youngest child. Son was an oldest child married to (and now divorced from) an oldest child. My mother and father in law are middle kids married to each other. My mom was a youngest child married to a series of either youngest or one of the younger siblings from a large family.

I don’t remember doing anything mean to my lil’ brothers when they were born, but I tormented them plenty later! My coworkers were regaling with glee the horrid things they did to their younger siblings. One would pretend to be kissing the baby while in reality was digging her teeth into the baby’s scalp. Another would casually walk through and take the baby’s bottle or toy away, then claim to have no idea as to why he was crying. Younger siblings have to be tough. Only children don’t get to go through the boot camp of siblings, so I’m not sure how they face adversity in school and in life.

Link to above video:

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3 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    no2liberals said,

    Since you are going with anecdotal information, my oldest brother married the youngest of her family, while I (the youngest) married the oldest of her family. Of course those marriages both ended in divorce. My middle brother, the troublemaker and con man of the family, married one who was some where in the middle of a large brood.
    Sounds like Dylan is developing a classic “middle child” mentality and I encourage you all to take this seriously and nip it in the bud. In the case of my a**-hole of a middle brother, he resented his older brother because…well, because he was the “golden child” and could do no wrong. He was playing his Gibson guitar and singing C&W songs on a local radio station at five and was driving a Jeep and tractor on my grand parents farm by seven.
    As a result of his feeling(and being) inadequate compared to son #1, he tried to lord his #2 status over me, which really annoyed him because I didn’t give a *bleep* about the ranking. I was loved, well fed and got lots of attention. #2 was always trying to find new ways to aggravate people, get other people in trouble and lying his butt off on just about everything.
    He was never a dummy, he made straight A’s all the way through Vet school, but his personality was always warped. It started early and could have been nipped in the bud. I suggest riding herd on that boy, keeping him busy and not reinforcing his negative behavior.

  2. 2

    swampie said,

    Well, until 9 weeks ago, he was just the youngest kid. Don’t worry, he’s *very* good with tools, and his Papa is taking him under his wing, so to speak.


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