Are Pieces Gonna Start Fallin’ Off Next?

Since I hit 50, things have started to go wrong. I’ve gained weight in places where it isn’t remotely attractive. My hair has changed colors. Part of it is a kinda mousy don’t look at me color. Part of it is silverish.

So it came as no surprise that a cut I got out in the barn a couple weeks ago wasn’t healing and, in fact, was draining a purulent mixture. Ewwwwwww. I made an appointment for after the kids were out of school and thought I could run in, get fixed up, and run back out and be back before the mandatory staff meeting and training. WRONG. Nothing like pissing off the boss on my very first day!

“So, how long has it been like this?”

“What do you mean?”

“WHY DIDN’T YOU COME IN LAST WEEK?”

“I thought it was getting better.” I mean, after it burst open and started draining, it DID feel better, so I thought it was healing. It certainly felt better afterward.

Since I was already there, they checked my lungs and heart and most of my other organs that they thought were interesting or important. Putting the stethescope on my back brought an unwelcome question.

“Do you know that you have an irregularly-colored melanoma on your back with irregular borders with red around it?”

“Uh, no, it’s on MY BACK!” I mean, if it were on my stomach I probably would have noticed, but the fact is that I don’t spend a lot of time trying to peer at my back. In fact, I try to avoid looking at my nekkid body AT ALL. Besides, I PAY people to look at my back. That would be THE DOCTOR. (Okay, I didn’t say that out loud, since I don’t want to really piss off the person that will be wielding the scalpel.)

“We’re going to schedule you for an excision and pathology next week.”

“Okaaaaaaaay.”

“And you need to be on antibiotics for 30 days for your wound. You have to soak it four times a day…”

“WHAT? I’m at WORK! I can’t possibly soak it four times a day. There’s no place to soak it!”

“Do you have time for hospitalization and surgery?”

*sigh*

What next? Will I be walking into the classroom and maybe my foot falls off?

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5 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    kcduffy said,

    Oh, I hope not – some of the kids might eat it.

    And yes, ma’am just after 50 is exactly the time all these things seem to start going wrong and changing without permission. Why do you think Bette said that thing about old age not being for sissies!

    • 2

      kae said,

      “Some of the kids might eat it!”

      LOL. That’s a scream.

      At 40 half your bits don’t work, and the other half hurt.

      At 50 nearly all of them don’t work and all of them hurt.

  2. 3

    swampie said,

    Ugh. I just took my first antibiotic tablet. It said that it may cause diarrhea weeks or even months after taking it.

    I’m sooooo glad that I have something to look forward to.

  3. 4

    ORPO1 said,

    Blown meniscus in 01, broken back in 02, renal cancer resulting in a nephrectomy in 09, hernia in 10.
    I can relate, Swampie, I can relate. But I still get up every day and hit the flight line! It does keep me going.


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