I’m Going to Get New Bifocals VERY Soon!

I’ve noticed that I need new bifocals for awhile now. I’ve been picking up the wrong boxes in the grocery store and bringing them home because I grabbed one box, then grabbed one behind it, not noting (up close) that the print said that what I grabbed was a different product than what I wanted. For example, I saw a sign for 60 watt light bulbs (after picking up 48 100 watt light bulbs; I need to get another few hundred before they’re gone!) and picked up two boxes. Unfortunately, the box underneath was a box of 40-watt bulbs. What am I gonna do with THEM? Oh, wait. I’ll put ’em over the mirror in the bathroom. If I can’t see wrinkles or cellulite, it means I ain’t got ’em, right?

My temporary visual disability hasn’t caused too many large problems except for things like that and having to read without glasses if I really need to know what something says. But, with a small income, other medical bills and Christmas on the way, I’d put it off.

I had put a gluten-free yellow cake mix on the counter yesterday afternoon, meaning to make a gluten-free cake later in the evening. I was out in the cold weather last night doing some shopping and the warm living room felt soooooo good when I got inside that I put my groceries away, wrapped up in a blanket to watch the weather report, and didn’t wake up until late this morning.

After feeding the livestock, I decided to surprise SwampMan (who was still sleeping) with some chicken-fried steaks (gluten free!) and hash browns for brunch. I pre-boiled the taters and peeled ’em. SwampMan was up by the time the taters were cooling. I put some olive oil in the cast iron skillet for the hash browns and some bacon grease in the chicken-fried steak pan and started it heating. I grabbed the gluten-free Bisquik baking mix that I’d had to go all the way to Walmart for because there wasn’t any at Winn Dixie and set it on the counter, then beat up some eggs, grabbed the Bisquik, dumped it in a bowl, added garlic power (lots!) and more salt, and dredged the meat through the milk and eggs mixture and the baking mix, then flipped it in the fry pan. I shredded the partially cooked boiled taters and chopped green onions in them, and fried ’em. While I was cooking, I turned around to talk to SwampMan watching TV in the other room and glanced across the kitchen and really saw the open box on the counter. It wasn’t the Bisquik box that was open. It was the gluten-free cake mix box. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Both were from Betty Crocker. Both were a similar color. The cake mix box said GLUTEN FREE across the top and in smaller letters said cake mix.

I fixed SwampMan’s plate and took it to him, then asked anxiously how everything tasted. “It tastes good!” he said. “Have you tasted everything?” I inquired. “Yep!” he said. “So, are you going to tell me what went wrong? I heard that scream in the kitchen!”

I tried it for myself to make sure he wasn’t lyin’ to me. It really was good!


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