If You Leave Town, You Might Find Puppies When You Get Home

I called SwampSon today.

“Ma, I was just about to call you! We finished the job, and we’re going to be home today!”

“Well, that’s good. Say, when you left, you said you wanted me to take care of the chickens.”


“And you wanted me to take care of the newt and bird.”


“You did not mention any white pit bull puppies.”

“Because we do not have any puppies!”

“Well, I fed your chickens Thursday.”

“Yeah, I know. You called after you got home.”

“I did not feed your chickens Friday because I’d fed them enough Thursday.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“So I was quite surprised when I drove out to your place this morning and was met at the gate by two white pit bull puppies that came off your porch.”


“A male and a female. One has a brown spot on its butt. One has two blue eyes, and one has one brown eye and one blue eye. They’re very friendly. And they REALLY enjoyed tearing up all the trash in your garbage can looking for food. They spread it all over the yard. My clothes still smell like rotting garbage.”


“So, which one of your friends decided that you needed some dogs?”

“NOBODY! They must have gotten through the chain link fence.”

Yep. I think somebody dropped them OVER the fence, considering that they were ravenous with hunger. I just happened to have a can of dog food in the van that I use for emergency feeding situations for strays when I’m out and about, so I retrieved that, dumped it on a piece of ripped up cardboard so that I could get back out the gate, and they had devoured it before I could get into the door of my ol’ vehicle.


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