I do not have a Facebook page. There’s a reason for that. It is ridiculously easy to express an opinion in public that is contrary to the Official Public Thought of the workplace, so I have contented myself by having contrary thoughts expressed in a more private forum. I have LOTS of contrary thoughts.
It came as a surprise to me, therefore, to find out when reading a book about making life changes and choosing the life I want, yada yada upchuck, that NOT having a Facebook page could result in a company not considering me as a candidate because it would indicate that I’m behind the times and unable to cope with technology.
I’m not sure how a Facebook page with countless entries of “Swampie read 4 articles!” and “Swampie liked this book and this movie!” or “The Sheep Shearer is in town–hooray!” would make me more employable and, indeed, I think it could possibly cause an investigator to expire out of sheer boredom. “Hello, Ajax Widget Company? This is SwampWoman. I applied for a job as Kneecapper in the Collections Department and have not heard from you. Were the letters of recommendation citing my kneecapping techniques from the kneecapees insufficiently enthusiastic? I’ll give them a call. I’m sure they’ll be quite cooperative if you wish to contact them in person….”
“No, that will be sufficient, Miz SwampWoman. We had five investigators that do online research of our prospective employees and, after the fourth investigator died of boredom while checking your Facebook page, we decided that we did not wish to risk the life of our remaining investigator. We’ve decided to hire somebody whose Facebook page showed her drinking on the job and flashing her fellow employees who have obligingly provided films on YouTube. We believe that this shows that she is up to date with technology and she would be a kneecapper who would be lots of fun at the company picnic which could translate to great company publicity.”
Maybe I could make a Facebook page with me looking all professional (well, per the standards of whatever profession is hiring that week) and maybe throw in a YouTube video or two.
Okay, y’all, the FCAT is coming, so: