This is the first time in three days that I’ve been awake for more than an hour or two at a time! I’m pretty sure now that I had a “flu” attack. The symptoms fit. I started with a dry cough out of the blue, so to speak, Friday afternoon which I attributed to pollen. I felt fine all day, but a little tired toward the end of the workday. By Friday night, I was sore all over and felt fairly horrid. By Saturday, I was so tired I could barely function and had a high fever. I’m just glad I had my flu shot this year because it could have been worse!
This morning, I dreamed that I was speaking with a coworker. I told him that I wasn’t really there, because I was really at home asleep. He told me that “No, I really WAS there.” I looked down at my fawn-colored dress and bright orange high-heeled shoes, and concluded that I must be there after all. I pinched myself (in my dream) to make sure I was really there, and it hurt! Then we started a debate about what constituted reality. I dunno what the answer was, for SwampMan woke me up to apologize for waking me up, but he couldn’t reach anybody at my workplace to tell them I wouldn’t be there, and he had to leave for work. I would have liked to have known the answer to that question because I haven’t had that dress for YEARS and I don’t think I ever had a pair of orange high-heeled shoes, and the dress and shoes were perfect together. Why didn’t I know that before?
The good part about the flu is that I have no appetite whatsoever and am happy just drinking sweet tea. I figured that since my physical activity was nil, I probably gained weight during that time, but a check on the scale revealed that I was down 5 lbs. Woohoo!
So there you have it. You can lose five pounds in three days on the flu and sweet tea diet. (The sweet tea came from McDonald’s courtesy of SwampMan, who kept me well supplied. I wasn’t up to even boiling water for the past few days.)
Maybe I should write a diet book and/or go out into public and spread my virus around. On the other hand, a primo appetite-destroying virus with the side effect of strange, vivid dreams like this shouldn’t be spread about for free. I should at least charge as much as a movie admission with a Coke and small popcorn. Grin. Unfortunately, I know that as soon as the viral effects wear off, I’ll be back to eating Greek yogurt for breakfast and salads with gluten-free dressing and boiled eggs for lunch again.
Oh, by the way, if you take gauaifenesin tablets to keep bronchitis and pneumonia at bay, which I have been doing, never EVER pop a pill without checking to see if your sweet tea in the McDonald’s cup in the fridge is full or empty. That pill is some nasty-tasting shit and if you suck up a big old strawful of nothing in an attempt to swallow that huge nasty tasting pill, you could have some unfortunate sequelae.