Archive for July 14, 2012

Question from Instapundit

From Instapundit comes the question:


My instant reaction is that if you read the New York Times, then your masculinity is seriously in question. Unless you go over to laugh at them in which case you’re okay.

SwampWoman’s Dating Tip #10: “You are dating a couple different guys, both literate. When you are out with them, both have occasion to pick up their mail. You notice that one has a Popular Mechanics in his mail. The other has the New York Times. Which one should you keep and which one should you throw back into the dating pool?” Well, duh. Keep the one that can fix your appliances and vehicle, of course.

SwampMan, who has a higher-than-average percentage of Neanderthal lurking in his DNA, hooted in derision at the question because he’s of the firm belief that columnists for the New York Times would scream like little toddlers and run for the Mommy shelter of their man-free enclaves if they ever encountered actual men. Particularly if they were engaged in man-type activities such as comparing the features and prices of their latest weapons.

I thought that was a pretty sexist observation by SwampMan. We wimmenfolk compare the features and prices of our latest weapons, too.

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Two Months Satellite-Free Anniversary

Last night, SwampMan was watching a movie on his laptop, guffawing loudly. When it was finished, he asked me “Hey! Did you know it has been two months since we had satellite?”

“Hunh. No, I hadn’t really noticed!”

“Me neither. Ain’t it great?”

Well, I had voiced my aggravation in the past here about the “science” channels turning to a shitfest of “aliens” and “global warming”. “Oh, that looks like it might be good”, I think to myself, flipping through channels and seeing architectural ruins. “Let’s see which civilization produced this.”

“…and some scientists believe that these columns were erected by aliens…” *sigh* Flipping again. They never actually get around to saying “which” scientists. Just “some” scientists. They never actually say that these scientists are out walking around amidst normal people, either. And why would aliens be flitting about earth working on various construction projects only to vanish mysteriously, projects scattered about in various stages of completion? Perhaps they were all members of some intergalactic trade union engaged in a protracted strike. Some scientists think so.

I should make movies and sonorously pronounce “And some scientists believe that eating eggs from Swampie’s Hens are the key to everlasting life, for people who have eaten them have never actually died. These eggs can be purchased at Swampie’s farm for only $100 per carton. What a deal!”

(Editor’s note: Didn’t your stepdad die just last month?) Shaddup, I’m making a sales pitch here. Gotta get to KCMO in THREE WEEKS, remember?

Did I have a point? Oh, yeah. Satellite/cable had become seriously annoying. We had to pay out the ass for channels we didn’t watch in order to get the channels we wanted which had largely turned to shit. Two months after satellite, we didn’t even notice it was gone. If you’re looking for an effortless way to save money, have access to the internet and maybe a ROKU, give it a try.

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Go and Adopt an Unloved Pet This Weekend!

Terrific sale on adoption fees this weekend in Jacksonville. Only $25 for a spayed/neutered pet that is microchipped and vaccinated. WHAT a deal!

The adoption event is being held at the Jax Fairground from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. They had over 800, so surely there will be SOMEBODY there to love.

Maybe it’s just me, but I prefer my furred friends’ honest companionship to hangin’ with dysfunctional humans.

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Saturday Morning Music

I danced around the house like a big ol’ fool listening to that. It’s SATURDAY!

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