Two Months Satellite-Free Anniversary

Last night, SwampMan was watching a movie on his laptop, guffawing loudly. When it was finished, he asked me “Hey! Did you know it has been two months since we had satellite?”

“Hunh. No, I hadn’t really noticed!”

“Me neither. Ain’t it great?”

Well, I had voiced my aggravation in the past here about the “science” channels turning to a shitfest of “aliens” and “global warming”. “Oh, that looks like it might be good”, I think to myself, flipping through channels and seeing architectural ruins. “Let’s see which civilization produced this.”

“…and some scientists believe that these columns were erected by aliens…” *sigh* Flipping again. They never actually get around to saying “which” scientists. Just “some” scientists. They never actually say that these scientists are out walking around amidst normal people, either. And why would aliens be flitting about earth working on various construction projects only to vanish mysteriously, projects scattered about in various stages of completion? Perhaps they were all members of some intergalactic trade union engaged in a protracted strike. Some scientists think so.

I should make movies and sonorously pronounce “And some scientists believe that eating eggs from Swampie’s Hens are the key to everlasting life, for people who have eaten them have never actually died. These eggs can be purchased at Swampie’s farm for only $100 per carton. What a deal!”

(Editor’s note: Didn’t your stepdad die just last month?) Shaddup, I’m making a sales pitch here. Gotta get to KCMO in THREE WEEKS, remember?

Did I have a point? Oh, yeah. Satellite/cable had become seriously annoying. We had to pay out the ass for channels we didn’t watch in order to get the channels we wanted which had largely turned to shit. Two months after satellite, we didn’t even notice it was gone. If you’re looking for an effortless way to save money, have access to the internet and maybe a ROKU, give it a try.

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2 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    no2liberals said,

    I dropped the satellite and went with my cable provider for all my HiDef and broadband needs, years ago.
    Ain’t giving up my HD, 50″ plasma or internet connected surround sound system for nobody.

  2. 2

    kcduffy said,

    I’m still considering it. Two of the cell phones go later this week.

    You have any more of those eggs, we’d love some – the other egg lady I have hasn’t been available lately. Yes, I am willing to drive out to get them, we’re going to Mayport tomorrow anyway.


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