Archive for July 16, 2012

MeeMaw, How Do Girls Pee?

“MeeMaw, how do girls pee?” asked Dylan. “Whuh…WHAT?” I rather incoherently asked. I was expecting something like “MeeMaw, what’s for breakfast?” or “MeeMaw, can I use your computer first today?” while we were leaving the parking lot at Mommy’s work.

He repeated the question in case I didn’t hear it properly the first time and then expounded a bit. “How do girls pee? Girls don’t have anything to pee through. So how do they DO it?”

“Unnnnhhhhh…”

He clarified his question still further: “When you go into the bathroom, do you have to stick a needle in your body with a tube that goes into the toilet and that’s how you pee?”

“Uhhhhhmmmmmmm…”

“Do you pee out your butt like a chicken?”

At this point, the effort in trying to keep a straight face with a benign yet interested expression is almost too much for me. I’m pretty sure I must be exhibiting some very strange-looking facial tics.

“I really want to know, and nobody will tell me, Meemaw!” he wailed.

SwampMan intervened. “What is his problem this morning?”

“He wants to know how girls pee because he has noted that girls do not possess the proper anatomical structures. He’s speculating that those of the female persuasion self catheterize with something like PVC pipe and a large needle. You want to draw some pictures, or shall I?”

SwampMan decided to take charge. “We do NOT talk about bodily functions in the truck!” he ordered. Well, then. THAT really clarified things!

I dunno. He really wants to know how this is done. Should I pull out the medical dictionaries, or should I leave this to Mommy?

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