Today, For a Brief Moment, I Felt I Was Almost in Control

I enjoyed my day off today. I ate one meal, breakfast, yesterday and then spent the rest of the day regretting it. I drank a lot of orange juice today, then cautiously ate some dinner tonight. So far, so good. I probably ought to have eaten more than one meal that stays down before I go back to work, right?

I felt sufficiently recovered today that I went out to get my hair cut. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “How Godawful was her hair? If it was as bad as it usually is when she gets around to getting it cut, she’d rise up outta her coffin in order to make that appointment!” Well, it wasn’t quite that bad, but it was in the neighborhood. I actually waited until I wasn’t feverish and sickish for 24 hours, mostly because she doesn’t work the weekends anyway.

Afterwards, I sat on the bench outside and talked to people coming in and going out. I don’t remember the last time I just sat on a bench with no cares in the world, just idly chatting. I had no mental list of points to cover or specific information to impart. I did not have to hurry to the feed store or the grocery store or any place at all. I had done those things earlier. My porch was clean. My laundry was done. I felt almost in control as I talked to a friend about insurance prices for the self-employed.

That illusion of control ended, of course, as soon as I got home and stepped back through the door. “There’s a message on the machine from your brother. He wants you to call him.”

“What does he want?”

“I dunno. I didn’t answer the phone. Listen to the message.”

Well, the message was that he wanted me to call him.

“Hey, can you take me to the bus station in Jacksonville in a couple weeks?”

“Um, I guess…..”

“Well, I need to get back home and pick up some of my papers and reroof a house before winter.”

“Sure, whatever you need!” Yikes! A tank of gas and a day off work without pay. Not to mention that if I was going to the bus station in Jacksonville, I needed to purchase more ammo. The bus station is not in a part of town that will make the Chamber of Commerce poster, unless they want to have posters of crime scene tape and chalked body outlines. I tried to talk him out of departing from Jax, but his daughter had already purchased the ticket. Do they even have parking there, or do you just kick people out the door as you drive by?

“Thanks, sis!”

Then I looked at the calendar. That was only a couple days after I was planning on taking a half day so that I could get the grandkids while daughter and husband went out of town on their anniversary. Ooops. Well, I was planning on leaving after the election regardless, but I had hoped to be on good terms with everybody. As short staffed as the schools are, taking unpaid time off does not endear you to the people that have to cover for you. They say terribly rude things about you and the horse you rode in on which is just uncalled for.

I repeat to myself the mantra that shows just how unimportant I am in the grand scheme of things: “I am just a tiny lil’ ol’ ingrown hair on the vast buttocks of the Department of Education. They could care less about my petty problems and will replace me with somebody cheaper at the first opportunity.” *sigh*


2 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    no2liberals said,

    I think you meant to say they could not care less…right?

    I also think having control is highly underrated.

  2. 2

    swampie said,

    Right. I’m very tired of having no control.

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