My butt is kicked tonight. Lil’ bro’ and I have been up on the roof all day. I did the unskilled stuff like rolling out felt and laying out shingles and fetchin’ and steppin’. Lil’ bro’ did the stuff in which you actually needed to know what you were doing. I did the jobs relegated to the dumbass. If the boot fits, right?
When we got down from the roof as the sun was going down, I ran around and did all the feeding and putting in of the animals for the evening. One ewe had separated herself from the others and did not wish to go in for the night. She was ultimately enticed in for the evening by shaking the grain bucket at her. Awwwww, dang. I had hoped that lambing would hold off for another month until I had actual time to deal with it, but noooooooo. I lifted her tail and checked her vulva. Hot pink. Her udder was full and swollen. CRAP. And there’s NEVER just one ewe about to lamb. Nope. I checked a few other ewes that were nearly as ready to lamb as she was.
I drove lil’ bro’ the hour up to Mom’s and drove the hour back by myself. The hour up we were so busy talking that I forgot to stop at two gas stations we passed along the way. It was a few miles from Mom’s house in the middle of No and Where that I noted that my gas gauge was ominously near the red mark. And my cell phone doesn’t work there. I dropped off lil’ bro’ and told him if he didn’t hear from me in 25 minutes (which is about how far I have to drive from Mom’s house for me to have cell phone service), then I’m probably outta gas beside the road. Surprisingly, I made it to the nearest gas station.
The music of Joan Jett was rattling the truck windows on the way back. Singing loudly off key and playing air guitar while driving the F150 kept me awake enough to survive the return trip. No wonder I’m so tired. I’ve been driving four hours today!
Now that I’m home, I’m downing the second cup of coffee since I got here so that I can stay awake long enough to cook some dinner and periodically check the ewe through the night. I ran out to check the ewe as soon as I got home. She looked at me as though she hadn’t picked out a spot in the stable that she didn’t want to leave early this evening. Unh huh.
SwampMan had an ethernet cable stretched out to his barn earlier today so that he could watch tutorials about his particular CNC machine while he adjusted it. Our WiFi router AND booster doesn’t go quite far enough. No problem. SwampMan had cables. SwampMan PROMISED me that he’d stretch that longass cable out across the driveway and the pasture to the barn, and then he’d pick it up after he was done for the day. I tripped over it after he was done for the day. I could not help but notice that if I tripped over it, it must still be there. Puppy tripped and fell over it. I went and had a lil’ talk with SwampMan about him picking up his damn cable.
The moon was fairly bright when I got home and ran out to check the ewe, so I didn’t bother waiting to find a flashlight. Apparently the moon was not bright enough to illuminate the gray cable hanging down from above the gate where it had been tossed. I hurried through the gate, got wrapped in the cable, and said a few naughty words as I punched the air in a futile effort to free myself from whatever had grabbed me.
When I finished my sheep count and verified that nobody was in the process of lambing at that precise minute, I went back into the house. “HONEY!” I said. “Throwing that cable across the top of the gate wasn’t exactly what I had in mind. I got all tangled up and nearly faceplanted on the concrete!”
SwampMan grinned wickledly. “BabyDoll! Maybe it’s time you learned to stop and look where you goin’ before you take off like a bat outta hell. Better be more careful tonight.”
It is going to be a very long night.
Update: It’s a ram! I, uh, actually slept through his birth. I ran outside when I realized that my internal clock had NOT awakened me on schedule. I didn’t put on socks or protective legwear. I ran through a patch of stinging nettles. That was a nice waker upper in the chill morning air, as if the chill morning air weren’t enough!