Archive for January 25, 2013

P90X Workout

I went by the gym today looking for a student. The kids were doing the P90X ab workout. The coaches saw me.

“Miz Swampie, come on in! Try it! You’ll get ripped abs!”

Ripped abs does not sound all that inviting to me. “Yes, I’m sure that I WOULD get ripped abs. Then I’d have to go through all that surgery to reattach them…”

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Don’t You Just Love…

Don’t you just love the age right around two when children learn to lie? It’s just so darned amusing!

Lil’ Zoe was here tonight when I noticed a certain aroma emanating from her vicinity.

“Zoe! Did you go poopoo in your diaper?”


Upon checking and confirming that there was, in fact, poopoo in her diaper, I got together the changing paraphenalia and took her into the living room.

“Zoe, you DID go poopoo in your diaper.”

“NO! Mommy did it.”


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Why I’m Not Thin #7,000

I’ve stopped having anything for breakfast except coffee. I have a lunch of lettuce leaves and cottage cheese. Dinner is usually a piece of meat and veggies, although last night it was late so it was just steak and hashbrowns.

Today is going to be a Very Bad Day at school, so to fortify myself, I put 1/3 to 1/2 cup of chocolate chips in a 4-cup microwavable measuring cup, a cup of coffee, a cup of milk, nuke it for about 3 minutes, pour in a large mug and top it off with whipped cream.

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What Day Is It Again?

Coyotes were fighting with Puppy through the fence last night several times, so I was awakened by barking/snarling/howling at 1 a.m., 2 a.m., 3 a.m., 4 a.m., 4:30 a.m….. Each time, I grabbed the flashlight and a shotgun but of course as soon as the door opened, they were gone. I’m especially concerned with lambing going on.

The alarm went off for about half an hour before it woke me this morning. I jumped up in alarm, and exclaimed “Oh NO! I’ve overslept and I have to go get my brother and get on the roof!” SwampMan opened one blearly eye. “It’s THURSDAY!” he huffed, and went back to sleep. Oh. Right. I knew it wasn’t Saturday. Sure.

I got home this evening and started with the feeding. I got about halfway done with the chickens, looked at the watch, and decided I better make a run to the feed store since I was going to run out of feed tomorrow, and I had plans to meet some friends after work to celebrate Swampie Libre.

Once finished at the feed store, I realized I had no cat food, so off to the grocery store I went with SwampMan’s checkbook, because mine was empty. How empty? Well, if you listen closely, you could hear echoes in my bank account.

Have you ever gone into a grocery store and gotten everything except what you had gone inside for? Yep. I picked up cheese sticks, potato chips, pistachio nuts, a gallon of milk, a bag of onions, several cloves of garlic, Some steak and hashbrowns, and three cans of dog food.

When I got home, the cats followed me around meowing piteously. Dang. I felt really bad. I only had a little bit of dried dog food left, so they got it.

Another ewe was calling an invisible lamb tonight. Oh, goodie! I’m tired and grumpy. I don’t think I can wake up every two hours to check.

Daughter called, and asked if we’d keep the grandkids tomorrow night after work. Dang. We hadn’t seen the grandkids since I started working on the roof. “Sure! I, um, am planning on going out and meeting friends after work. When will you be arriving?”

“About six, but I could make it seven.”

“That’ll work!”

How exciting. We get to see the grandkids, it is now Friday, I get to climb up and down the ladder to work on the roof again tomorrow, I get to meet friends after work and there will be tequila. What could go wrong?

Oh, yeah. I need to feed the SwampMan and the livestock sometime in that time frame.

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