SOTU Address Tonight

Are y’all going to watch the SOTU address? I *probably* won’t watch it at all because I’m afraid that my ear cells will spontaneously destruct upon being exposed to a near lethal dose of bullshit. There’s also the fact that his speaking voice and manner reacts upon me much like the high-pitched drone of a mosquito in the wee hours of the morning. (What, you hide under the blankets and hope it goes away?) Awwww, HELL no. I leap outta bed, grab a can of the most lethal bug spray I can get OTC, and spray the room down with a cloud of poison gas while screaming “DIE, BITCH, DIE!” to the consternation of SwampMan who cannot hear high-pitched mosquito noises and therefore takes episodes like this personally.

The Secret Service would probably think it was a bad idea if the people present at the SOTU all carried in flyswatters and bug spray. Even several cans of bullshit repellent would be excellent, but noooooo. Could we at least have members of the Supreme Court stand up and moon him?

I briefly entertained the idea of taking a drink of the cooking alcohol every time Obama said something treasonous, untrue, or stupid, but I realized that I don’t have enough alcohol in the house. And I’d be unconscious five minutes into the SOTU.


6 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    kcduffy said,

    If Duffy works late, I’ll be watching the American Kennel Club dog show and listening to live online. If Duffy’s home, it’ll probably be just the dog show.

    I have not listened to a single speech by a single politician since the GOP debates. And I intend to extend that record tonight!

  2. 2

    no2liberals said,

    I never listen to that lying sack of Kenyan guano…NEVER.

  3. 3

    swampie said,

    From the comments of the people that sullied their senses by watching it, it was more of the same ol’ bullshit.

  4. 6

    swampie said,

    Heh. I saw the SoTU being referred to as “the State of the Unicorn” address on MarketTicker. Yep, that’s about right because nothing about that speech was grounded in the reality-based world.

    Yep, when there are not enough jobs, let’s raise the minimum wage and drive more small businesses out!

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