Archive for March 1, 2013

Student of the Month and School Security

100_0494I got a call from SwampDaughter on Tuesday night. “Dylan may be student of the month for his class and, if he is, I won’t know for sure until Wednesday. I definitely won’t be able to take off on Thursday for that because I have hyperbaric chamber training that day and it would probably be a bad thing to accidentally explode a patient. I told Dylan, and he told me that it would be okay because MeeMaw would probably have time to go now. Will you be able to go?”

“What? Dylan is student of the month? DYLAN?” I called over to SwampMan. “Hey, guess who is student of the month?”

“Jacob is ALWAYS student of the month!” answered SwampMan.

“No, no! This is DYLAN!”

“DYLAN is student of the month? You better go because THAT will probably never happen again!”

Dylan, while being a bright little boy, is also extremely mischievous and boisterous. All boy, in other words. Being outgoing and boisterous is a bad combination for classrooms where children must sit quietly and learn because if you don’t pass reading and math tests, you must repeat kindergarten.

On Wednesday evening, I got a call from daughter indicating that it was no mistake on Dylan’s part, he actually WAS student of the month. I was told the time and made my plans to be there.

I had been there last year and the year before for some of Jacob’s student of the month festivities. I got there a little early but not excessively so. There were some changes prompted by security at the school that I hadn’t anticipated.

First of all, the (glass!) doors were locked, and parents had to be buzzed in. While I am sure that all these security measures are well meaning, it couldn’t help but occur to me that a criminally-inclined person would hardly be deterred by glass. *sigh* I also note that I did not have to be buzzed out.

All the people that were there for their children and grandchildren getting awards had to stand in line at the office and present their picture ID while somebody verified from students’ personal information cards whether that person was on the list of contacts authorized by the parents or guardians. Then the ID is scanned and printed on a sticky ID tag that must be pasted on the clothing and worn at all times while in the school. There were also people there picking up children for doctor’s appointments, etc., that had to stand in line as well. There were not enough people behind the counters or computers to deal with this on a timely basis.

That morning, before leaving the house, I’d briefly pondered wearing a T-shirt I’d used a bleach printing technique on with a pair of jeans, then decided that I’d go preppy for the occasion with a J. Crew shirt and khakis. As I stuck the sticker on my shirt, I was REALLY regretting my decision.

To go off on a tangential rant, I note that Democrats do not think that picture IDs for voting are necessary, but a person is not even allowed to watch an award ceremony at a school without a picture ID. Shouldn’t the security of our voting system be equally as important? “But Swampie!” you may whine. “The safety of the children is MUCH more important!”

“You DIPSHIT!” I would answer. “The security at the schools only annoys/inconveniences the people that are law abiding to begin with. It will not affect the criminals AT ALL. Having a picture ID that verifies that you actually live in the district in which you are voting and are registered and eligible to vote will probably change the course of elections, many of which are, in my opinion, stolen.” End of tangential rant.

As I was gingerly defacing my J. Crew shirt with adhesive, I told the person at the computer that I’d spotted Dylan’s daddy at the back of the line, so she better keep Dylan’s personal information card handy instead of having it refiled.

“Oh, there’s another person here for Dylan? Send him to the front of the line while we have his card out!”

I went back and sent SIL from the back of the line to the front, thereby pissing off countless people. Aaaaaaaaaah. Nice to know I still have the touch!

I tried to get a picture of Dylan accepting his Student of the Month certificate for Mommy but Dylan jumped off the stage as soon as I depressed the camera button. Dylan is therefore a blur which is the case with most of his pictures. It is a shame that Mommy didn’t get word in time so that she would be able to take time off, but perhaps that is part of the school security as well. I dunno.

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