Archive for May 19, 2013

Why Won’t My Keyboard Button Thingamajig Work?

SwampMan was complaining loudly to himself. “This button USED to work, but NOOOOOOO. It doesn’t work now. It hasn’t worked for a long time through different computers, and I’d like to know why the hell not!” STABSTABSTABSTABSTAB at the button because physical abuse always makes electronic things work.

“Did you look it up online?” I asked, rudely interrupting his soliloquy cuss session.

“No. What good would that do? It has been a long time since that thing worked.”

“So I heard. Is it your new keyboard?”

“No, damnit. The button hasn’t worked for YEARS. This is a new keyboard.”

“So, what version of Windows you got?”

“Windows XP.”

Ah, yes. He’d ordered a refurbished computer for his shop because he wanted to keep XP; his house computer also has XP. It makes moving things back and forth easier. I’d been typing into the search engine while we were speaking and had the answer in about ten seconds. “Well, there’s your problem right here. That button doesn’t work directly with XP.”

SwampMan muttered something that sounded suspiciously like “bullshit”.

“Humor me. Hit the button, then press start, then all programs, then accessories….”

He stabbed the keys with unnecessary vigor following my directions, then there was a muttered “Well I’ll be a (very rude and offensive expletive)!”

Ah, apparently we were successful in our endeavor.

“Isn’t it interesting”, I continued, “what we find out if we actually look it up?”

More muttered rude words. Not to worry, though. Tomorrow he’ll probably be saying something like “Isn’t it INTERESTING how much money we can save if we do not hit things with a hammer when they malfunction?” to me, unless he recalls in time that his knees have been malfunctioning for years.

Ah, well. He may still be a little aggravated at me from earlier today. He was worrying aloud about the CNC not working with the new (refurbished) computer, mentioned how he had checked settings several times, and was just about to start checking all his connections to make sure he had power to all of them.

“Oh!” I remarked helpfully, although he had not asked for any. “Did you check to see if you have enough RAM?”

He actually rolled his eyes at me. “What, do you think I’m stupid? Of COURSE!”

“Did you reconnect everything to see if it worked with the old computer again after you got everything disconnected and reconnected to the new computer and it didn’t work?” I’m definitely not a repairman, and I am lazy, so I like to make sure that what I’m putting forth a lot of effort and brainwork into is actually the problem.

He blinked. “Well, no….”

“It’s just me, but I’d like to make sure that the computer or a cable isn’t the problem first before I go tearing things down.” SwampMan likes to tear things down. Well, so do I, but all that is left are teensy little molecule-sized pieces when I do it. He actually takes things apart and puts them back together in working condition, and I just gaze at him adoringly because he’s my hero.

“I never even thought of THAT because everything is supposed to be new. Good idea!”

It turned out that it was a dead parallel port in the refurbished computer. Not to worry. SwampMan throws NOTHING away because he may need it someday. He’s got eight or so old computers sitting around to strip parts out of. He’s very happy that he gets to tear down things after all.

Crossposted at Nuke’s.

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Mommy and Daddy Had an Interesting Morning!

Dylan's 6th birthdayDylan just turned six years old last week. He is an interesting child. A *very* interesting child. He likes to do experiments and see what will happen.

Well. He has said something in the past about calling 9-1-1 when he is mad. Mommy told him not to do such a thing. He wanted to know why, so his Mommy told him that the police officers that showed up would be angry if this was not an emergency.

Well. Dylan thought about that for awhile, and eventually decided that, like the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus, this was just another fairy tale that adults told little children. So, when Mommy was asleep from her night shift and Daddy was watching the kids, Dylan called 911 to see what would happen.

Guess what? The police DID show up at the door. He got lectured by a policeman. Then, when the policeman left, he got his bottom spanked by his daddy, and he had to stay in his room all day to think about his misdeeds. Personally, I think that may have been a bad thing. He probably used the time to plan even more misdeeds (grin). He’s not supposed to play with his friends or watch TV or do a lot of other stuff for two whole weeks.

Mommy was *VERY* exasperated as she relayed all of this to me. This was all familiar territory to me, though. When Mommy was a little toddler, I told her NOT to touch the space heater as I reached into the bathtub to pull her brother out. “Don’t TOUCH! It’s HOT! It will hurt you!” “HOT!” she repeated, and deliberately put her hand on the space heater just because I said not to. She had grill marks after that, and a new appreciation for the word “hot”. We spent a lot of time in the ER when she was smaller. I had serious doubts about her surviving childhood because if her injuries (from doing things we told her not to) didn’t kill her, I might.

So, daughter, give him a break (a leg would be fine). He’s JUST LIKE YOU! There’s a reason my hair is gray, you know.

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