Archive for May 31, 2013

Our Tropical Season Preparedness

We endured a rather horrific series of three-day weekends in the recent past with the grandchildren present when it was pouring rain outside and the pitter patter of energetic little feet racing around was confined to the inside. We all survived due to the occasional distraction of computer games and television. I believe we watched 99 episodes of Dora the Explorer in a row. Even now, I spontaneously burst into singing the Dora the Explorer song.

The old school clunky television died after a lightning strike a couple of weeks ago. SwampMan watches tv on his computer, so he didn’t suffer too much. I don’t get to watch tv since I never get control of the remote, so I certainly didn’t.

We were lazily discussing getting a replacement. We looked at them in a few different places. SwampMan wants a big screen flat television that costs somewhere around the GDP of a small African country. I pointed out that we actually don’t HAVE the GDP of a small African country. “I will get it and make payments!” he said confidently. “LIKE HELL YOU WILL!” I counter offered. “FINE. I’ll pay cash at Walmart.” Well, that was fine with me, I told him. “After all, we can both get by just fine without eating for six to eight weeks.”

So, that was how the situation was in television land. A complete standoff between both parties with no possibility of victory for either side. Then the unexpected occurred. SwampDaughter called and said that SwampSon-In-Law had been promoted at work! “Woohooo!” I said. Then I heard the downside: He’d be working every Saturday except for drill weekends, so the kids would be here every weekend (and on Thursday) in perpetuity and, of course, the boys want to be here for three weeks at a time in the summer. Rain was in the forecast for this weekend. And there’s possibly a tropical something brewing in the gulf that could impact us in @ a week.

SwampMan and I looked at each other. “Oh, CRAP!” we uttered nearly simultaneously. “We need a television NOW!” Yes, we’re awful for using the television for a babysitter during stormy times. It saves wear and tear on the furniture and young bodies, for the kids will jump off the furniture onto each other to entertain themselves when they are stuck inside. It also distracts them from loading viruses onto my computer in their covert search for computer games that MeeMaw Would Not Like. SwampMan lets the boys play things like Call of Duty, games that neither I nor SwampDaughter approve, so the boys are not allowed to use his computer. Devious bastard.

So, we made an emergency compromise. SwampMan has a bigger screen than previously, but not ginormous. It also has a much better picture than the late old television. However, it’s an old school clunky television, which means that we nearly got double hernias carrying that sumbitch into the house. However, it only cost us $30.00 at a thrift store. He’s happier with the bigger screen, better picture, and that only he knows how to operate the (universal) remote that isn’t universal. I’m happy that the month of July may include food.

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