Natural Eggs

A woman called me the other day. She told me that her husband only wanted them to eat “natural” eggs, so she would like to buy some from me, since she heard that I had free-range chickens. “You don’t confine them to layer houses, do you?” she asked suspiciously.

“No, no I don’t. Layer houses can cost millions to put in. Many of our hens are free range. Those are either bantam crosses or too old to keep as layers and I don’t particularly want to eat them. Our layers are confined to pastured pens so that they aren’t consumed by foxes, possums, coyotes, raccoons, and all the other predators that like a chicken dinner.”

“Do they get organic feed?”

“Well, partly. They eat weeds which are unfertilized except by manure. They eat bugs which are organic, I suppose. They get scratch feed and oyster shells. The grain is not organic.”

“Are the eggs high in Omega 3 fatty acids?”

“I have no idea.”

“Very well. I’ll try three dozen.”

“Ma’am, my hens are not in a climate-controlled henhouse.”

“Yes, I know. That’s what we want.”

“They do not get artificial lighting.

“Yes, we like sustainable operations.”

“Hens do not like to lay eggs when the days are short, cloudy, and cold.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means I won’t have eggs for sale until the days are longer and warmer.”

“When will that be?”

“Spring.” Because that is when you get natural eggs.


6 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    ligneus said,

    You should have told her you feed the chickens that orange dye so that the yolks are a nice colour but I suppose you still have to sell the eggs.

    • 2

      swampie said,

      The chickens are a hobby to keep my freezer and fridge full. When the egg production gets outta control, (and when family members are sick and tired of eating eggs and chickens) I sell ’em (eggs) for below my cost of production. They make great dog food for Puppy, too.

  2. 3

    kcduffy said,

    I want eggs! YOUR eggs! No matter what colour they are!!!

    • 4

      swampie said,

      I thought of you today! The girls blessed me with 12 today since the weather was warm and sunny (instead of the usual 3 or 4 grudgingly laid in the cold) but, with the winter weather coming in, they’ll be on strike for the rest of the week.

      Are you going to get any o’ that winter weather with the frozen precipitation coming in? We’re not, but Mom in Georgia might get 3 inches, and SwampMan’s parents will probably get much, much more.

      • 5

        kcduffy said,

        No one’s sure what’s going to show up. It was supposed to be 29 as the overnight low, and when we got up at 0530 it was 40!

      • 6

        swampie said,

        Well, what happened? We were out internet access again for a couple days, no tv, so I dunno what happened to y’all! SwampMan is out of school for today because of drizzle and sleet and wet roads when the temperature had a possibility of dropping below freezing during the school bus morning commute time. Some of the lesser-traveled bridges probably did have ice on them. The heavily traveled ones didn’t.

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