Archive for April, 2014

When KC Moved to Pensacola, I Just Knew There Would be Consequences

And there were! Check out KC’s blog, Pixie Place II, for flooding updates. Good thing she transported her kayak to Pensacola the trip before last, hunh?

In the meantime, KC seems to think that it may not be a bad idea for me to go shopping for an ark this afternoon. Unfortunately, SwampMan’s pay does not cover such things. Our flotation device will have to consist of a 2 x 4.

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SwampMan’s Knee Pics

100_0496100_0495I don’t think I showed the pictures of SwampMan’s knee scars from his knee replacement surgery before staple removal and after staple removal. This was because I was too lazy to actually download the pictures off of my camera.

Update: Well, crap. Apparently my laziness knows no bounds. I *thought* I had an after the staples were removed picture on there, but noooooo. I’ll have to wait until tomorrow evening to take a picture of his knee, then he’ll be all grumpy because physical therapy is going to kick his butt tomorrow. That is one massively swollen (but nicely shaved) knee!

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Even Princesses Need a Bath Sometimes

grimy princess zoe I do believe that is one grimy little Princess!

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GCPers, Check Your Email

Your email should have a link to a temporary site.

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Grouchy Conservative Pundits Temporarily Down

Sorry for not updating sooner. We’ve been busy with flooding, the Easter holiday, and family dinner guests. Our phone service has been interrupted a few times, as has our internet so, when I couldn’t connect to GCP over the weekend, I shrugged it off and figured it was my connection. When Butch left a comment here (which unfortunately was caught in the spam net), I realized that it wasn’t just me. D’OH! I was finally able to access my email and the notification from Rayra.

These DDoS attacks seem to coincide with holidays when there aren’t many techies available to wall them off. Hopefully this will all be fixed by Monday. Feel free to play here in the meantime! Fair warning: I’ve got the remains of Easter dinner to clear away, so I may not approve your comments in a timely manner if they get caught in the spam net!

After the guests left and I went outside to wade through some flood waters from the swamp to feed the chickens, I decided to come back in and wait for daylight since I found I was sharing the water I was wading through with one of these:


I wouldn’t have seen him with the dim light of the flashlight if it hadn’t been for his so white it was almost glowing mouth interior he was threatening me with! I lost all desire to feed the chickens in the dark after that. I probably wouldn’t see him any better in the muddy water in the daylight than at night, though. I need to carry a hoe with me when I do my feeding tomorrow morning, and watch where I put my feet very carefully.

Hope y’all’s Easter was happy, filled with family and friends, and that you don’t step on any cottonmouths or ‘gators. Particularly if you have Obamacare or, if you’re like me, are now uninsured.

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Can’t Decide on Coffee or Hot Chocolate? Have Both!

This morning is gray, blustery, and depressing. It is the perfect sort of day to crawl back under the covers and contemplate suicide. I contemplated suicide for awhile, then realized that the family budget would cover neither burial nor cremation. Our family budget would only cover tossing my body out on the pasture for the buzzards to eat. Ewwwww. Perhaps I should contemplate murder instead.

As I was drearily stumbling around in the cloudy dark at 9 a.m. here in the sunshine state, I thought about what would cheer me up. Well. Nuking Washington D.C. would cheer me up, but I don’t even know anybody with their own personal nuclear weapon and, if they had one, they probably wouldn’t let me “borrow” it anyway. I’m really the kind of person that does live captures of assorted insects that make their way into the house and then releases them outside so, even if I did have a borrowed nuke, I wouldn’t set it off. Maybe. It IS Washington D.C., after all.

Maybe I just needed some caffeine and should make a pot of coffee. Or maybe I needed the dark chocolate in hot chocolate. Chocolate is supposed to make people happy. “But why” I asked myself “should I have to choose?” Well. Why, indeed? Why NOT have both?

So, I put on a pot of coffee and looked at the back of my Hershey’s cocoa for the single serving microwave directions for hot chocolate. The directions said to use 2 heaping teaspoons of sugar and 1 heaping teaspoon of cocoa…. WHAT? Have they lost their freakin’ minds? This is NOT a day for weak-ass chocolate. NO. This clearly called for a TABLESPOON (heaping!) of cocoa, and 2 heaping tablespoons of sugar. Wait. Make that THREE heaping tablespoons of sugar. I know it may be a bit extreme, but the people of Washington D.C. should be grateful because, well, you know what alternative would make me happy. I stirred it together with a little milk until it was nice and smooth, poured my Maxwell House coffee into it, stirred it well, then topped it off with whipped cream. Hmmmmm. Okay, 2 tablespoons of sugar would have been sufficient, but we’re talking lives here, people.

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I’m SO Ready for Robin Hood.

I sullenly trudged to the post office this morning to mail our tax return. It was pouring down rain, which was fitting. Having to go pay even more of our income to a parasitical bureaucracy in Washington, D.C. that just spent $5 million on cow eradication on trumped-up charges for the financial benefit of the Reid clan does not make me happy. It therefore seems fitting that today is a shitty day.

Did I mention that the working folk still have to work until April 21 until they reach Tax Freedom Day?

The post office was fairly empty this morning. I handed over my envelope to have it sent certified. “Would you like a return receipt on that, Miz Swampie?” asked the lady at the counter, a long-time acquaintance.

“What I REALLY wanted was to scrawl hate messages all over the envelope. The kindest one would say something like ‘I hope you all DIE IN A FIRE!'” The people in the post office, mostly retirees, looked at me.

“If you did, you’d probably have a visit really quickly from people in uniforms!” said my acquaintance. “Not to mention if a fire really did break out in an IRS office somewhere!” another lady added. Yep. I’m sure a SWAT team would be involved in my questioning then.

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