Poor SwampMan is once again incapable of sleeping at night and can only sleep in the day. This happened after his last surgery, too. He spent several miserable nights readjusting. Since he has to be back at work bright eyed and cheerful in five days, my most fearsome weapons against night time wakefulness are called for.
I like to browse used bookstores and pick up books that were printed in the late 1800s and early 1900s. “I believe I may be able to help you with that insomnia!” I said. I picked out a book on historical American documents. “Have you ever read the Mayflower compact?” I asked.
“Not that I can recall!”
“Well, tonight’s your lucky night! I’ve also got the Monroe doctrine, some 17th century treaties, the Louisiana purchase and, if you get through that, I’ve got Plato’s Republic and Plutarch’s Lives. I have Don Quixote, the complete works of William Shakespeare, Edgar Allan Poe and, my personal favorite for inducing a somnolent stupor when I was in business school, The Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith.”
“What if I still can’t fall asleep?”
“You’ll be extremely grumpy but better read than the majority of your peers.”
Update: The translation of Amerigo Vespucci’s account of his first voyage seems to have done the deed.