Can’t Decide on Coffee or Hot Chocolate? Have Both!

This morning is gray, blustery, and depressing. It is the perfect sort of day to crawl back under the covers and contemplate suicide. I contemplated suicide for awhile, then realized that the family budget would cover neither burial nor cremation. Our family budget would only cover tossing my body out on the pasture for the buzzards to eat. Ewwwww. Perhaps I should contemplate murder instead.

As I was drearily stumbling around in the cloudy dark at 9 a.m. here in the sunshine state, I thought about what would cheer me up. Well. Nuking Washington D.C. would cheer me up, but I don’t even know anybody with their own personal nuclear weapon and, if they had one, they probably wouldn’t let me “borrow” it anyway. I’m really the kind of person that does live captures of assorted insects that make their way into the house and then releases them outside so, even if I did have a borrowed nuke, I wouldn’t set it off. Maybe. It IS Washington D.C., after all.

Maybe I just needed some caffeine and should make a pot of coffee. Or maybe I needed the dark chocolate in hot chocolate. Chocolate is supposed to make people happy. “But why” I asked myself “should I have to choose?” Well. Why, indeed? Why NOT have both?

So, I put on a pot of coffee and looked at the back of my Hershey’s cocoa for the single serving microwave directions for hot chocolate. The directions said to use 2 heaping teaspoons of sugar and 1 heaping teaspoon of cocoa…. WHAT? Have they lost their freakin’ minds? This is NOT a day for weak-ass chocolate. NO. This clearly called for a TABLESPOON (heaping!) of cocoa, and 2 heaping tablespoons of sugar. Wait. Make that THREE heaping tablespoons of sugar. I know it may be a bit extreme, but the people of Washington D.C. should be grateful because, well, you know what alternative would make me happy. I stirred it together with a little milk until it was nice and smooth, poured my Maxwell House coffee into it, stirred it well, then topped it off with whipped cream. Hmmmmm. Okay, 2 tablespoons of sugar would have been sufficient, but we’re talking lives here, people.


12 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    kcduffy said,

    I am so envious!

    The sun’s out here, so hang on…

    • 2

      swampie said,

      No sun yesterday. No sun today (in fact, another 3+ inches of rain is coming). No sun Saturday. No sun Sunday. Maybe Monday.

      I’m going to need a LOT of caffeine. Eight thirty a.m., dark and gloomy outside. I was supposed to go with the grandkids to the beach today. Guess not.

      • 3

        Robert D said,

        I’ll trade ya. Send me the gloomy weather, I love it. (and we need it)

      • 4

        Robert D said,

        I used to use Nestle’s chocolate milk powder like Coffeemate. I used to be a happier person too. Hmmm, a connection?

      • 5

        swampie said,

        Robert D, I stopped by a neighbor’s place this afternoon, whose cattle were standing in water, to let him know that if the swamp water started rising quickly, he should just cut my fence so that his cattle and horses could get to safety. We can deal with the fence issues after the water goes down. I repeated to another neighbor that if he needs a place to park his vehicles, he can use our place. Half of the pasture is underwater and water is creeping up into a high pasture that usually doesn’t have problems. The water is supposed to rise until Monday evening before it starts receding. That was before the torrential rains this afternoon. We’ve lost all of our chicks and ducklings hatched out this year so far.

        What is weird is that this is the dry season when we’re usually fighting wildfires and praying for a hurricane so we can have some relief.

  2. 6

    Butch Johnson said,

    Hey Swampy,I’m not able to get into GCP,you?

  3. 8

    Butch Johnson said,

    Hey,try adding a couple’a sprinkles of cinnamon to that Mocha derivative you’re talking about…..

  4. 9

    Robert D said,

    I know I’m bitching about drought right now, but Anthony Watts (WUWT) is seeing the same indications of El Nino that we had in ’97-’98. We had one bridge that was left undamaged and most every road was impassable for weeks, if not months. Guess what I’m saying is I should be careful what I wish for.

  5. 11

    Paco said,

    About nuking Washington, D.C… I’ll probably not be in town the last week in May. Just sayin’.

    • 12

      swampie said,

      Well, you need to put up a sign on your website that you’re outta town during these dates so people are welcome to destroy it now….

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